IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Present a written argument or case to an educated reader with no special knowledge of the following topic: News editors decide what to broadcast on television and what to print in newspapers. What factors do you think influence these decisions? Do we become used to bad news? Would it be better if more good news was reported?

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Introduction
There are various factors behind the
desicions
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decisions
 made by
news
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 editors about what we watch
on
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in
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 media.
People
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 get used to
unwothy
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unwitting
news
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 because they are busy
to check
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checking
show examples
 facts.
However
Linking Words
,
journalist
Fix the agreement mistake
journalists
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 should focus on important
news
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 in order to improve the quality of the
news
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.
Body paragraph 1
First,
Linking Words
there are many reasons that drive editors to select certain topics, including
audience's
Correct article usage
the audience's
show examples
 interests. Managers conducted heavy research on what
are
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is
show examples
 the
news
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 that
grap
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grab
people
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's attention.
For example
Linking Words
, the majority of
people
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 prefer to read and watch updates
of
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on
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 politics.
Body paragraph 2
However
Linking Words
, some journalists should be dedicated to their jobs
instead
Linking Words
 of reporting poor
news
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.
This
Linking Words
 has led us to be more
tolerate
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tolerant
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with
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of
show examples
 the bad content we receive.
Also
Linking Words
,
people
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 are busy
to check
Change the verb form
checking
show examples
 facts and
follow
Wrong verb form
following
show examples
Use synonyms
news
Add an article
the news
show examples
.
As a result
Linking Words
, they
give
Verb problem
pay
show examples
 no attention to the quality of what they are browsing.
Conclusion
Finaly
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Finally
, the world would
benifit
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benefit
 more from reports published by
news
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 agencies if they enhanced their work. For
instant
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instance
show examples
, they could
focuse
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focus
 on newsworthy topics that could help individuals educate and
cultuvate
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cultivate
cultivated
 themselves.

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task achievement
Clarify your main argument more explicitly. Ensure each paragraph relates back to your central premise about why news selection is influenced by various factors.
coherence and cohesion
Improve logical flow by using linking words and phrases to connect your ideas. This will make your argument clearer to the reader.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples or statistics to support your claims about audience interests and the effects of consuming bad news.
task achievement
You address an important topic regarding news selection and its implications, showing awareness of audience interests.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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