IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The rise of convenience food has helped people keep up with the speed of modern lifestyle. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend? Do the advantages outweigh disadvantages?

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Many people somewhat tend to consume more convenient
foods
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 because of being in modern society these days.
Nevertheless
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, there are some possible strengths and weaknesses of
this
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 circumstance, which are equally balanced with some relevant instances describing.
Firstly
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,convenient
food
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 consumption might be a great alternative for some groups of people, who might prefer spending their
time
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 on something else rather than taking too long
time
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 to eat. One noticeable benefit is that
this
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 kind of
food
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 mainly offers convenience service to clients,who might prefer to save
time
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 in rush hour.
For example
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, most officers who need to arrive at workplaces on
time
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 every morning may select
this
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food
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 as the best option for morning meals by grabbing a quick meal from a convenience store or coffee shop nearby.
Moreover
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, there are a plethora of
food
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 options satisfying simply the customers.
On the other hand
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, some do not prefer fast
foods
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 because of a lack of nutrition and unhealthy lifestyles,which might be a vast disadvantage.
For instance
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, fried chicken from a famous fast
food
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 brand might comprise a lot of protein but lacks vitamins and minerals including too much portion of fat.
In addition
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,all the foodstuff has been provided before placing an order because
that is
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 always an essential aspect of
this
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food
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 industry. That
also
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 makes these
foods
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 lack nutrition. In conclusion,the possible advantages are equally balanced with the disadvantages in terms of individual lifestyle based on my experience. Despite a lack of nutrition,some still prefer fast
foods
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 because of saving a lot of
time
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.

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task achievement
Your essay presents a clear central argument that the advantages and disadvantages of convenience food are balanced. However, to strengthen your task response, consider more deeply analyzing whether the advantages truly outweigh the disadvantages, with more specific examples and stronger reasoning.
coherence cohesion
While your essay has a logical structure, it could benefit from clearer transitions between points. For instance, phrases like 'Furthermore' or 'Additionally' could be used more effectively to link ideas.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that your introduction clearly outlines what will be discussed in the essay. Similarly, refine your conclusion to reflect on the balance of advantages and disadvantages more cohesively.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure with introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, which is good for coherence and cohesion.
task achievement
You have included relevant examples, such as the fast-paced lifestyle of office workers and the nutritional drawbacks of fast food, which enhances the clarity of your argument.
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