Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other. Discuss both these views and give yourown opinion.

In recent years, there has been an ongoing argument between

people

Use synonyms

who believe that it is

neccessary

Correct your spelling

necessary

to have

Use synonyms

competitions

Fix the agreement mistake

competition

show examples

among

inviduals

Correct your spelling

individuals

while

Linking Words

others reckon that

instead

Linking Words

of competing, there must be more

cooperations

Fix the agreement mistake

cooperation

show examples

among us. The writer of

this

Linking Words

essay will consider each

sides

Change to a singular noun

side

show examples

and give

personal

Add an article

a personal

the personal

show examples

opinion which supports

Use synonyms

competitions

Fix the agreement mistake

competition

show examples

. It is important to acknowledge that

competiton

Correct your spelling

competition

is the main motivation

Change preposition

for

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

development in any field.

In other words

Linking Words

, thanks to competing

each

Change preposition

with each

show examples

others

Change to a singular noun

other

show examples

, many

inviduals

Correct your spelling

individuals

achieved outstanding achievements which significantly contributed to the breakthroughs of today's products.

For example

Linking Words

, Netflix, where workers frequently compete with their colleagues, has observed many

appreciate

Replace the word

appreciative

show examples

innovations for years.

Therefore

Linking Words

, if

people

Use synonyms

want to upgrade their productivity, there should be some

Use synonyms

competitions

Fix the agreement mistake

competition

show examples

at their workplaces.

On the other hand

Linking Words

cooperations

Fix the agreement mistake

cooperation

show examples

among

people

Use synonyms

may

also

Linking Words

bring benefits. Simply put, there are always complicated adversities that no one can alone tackle

them

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

; in these situations, calling for

helps

Change the wording

help

bits of help

show examples

is actually crucial.

For instance

Linking Words

, Netflix, once again,

although

Linking Words

they usually

prior

Add a missing verb

have prior

show examples

competitions

Use synonyms

at work, helping each other is encouraged in some cases not only for solving the problems easier, but

also

Linking Words

making

Change preposition

for making

show examples

staffs bond with their colleagues.

Hence

Linking Words

, cooperating will result in better outcomes in some circumstances. From my perspective,

people

Use synonyms

had better

Remove the marker

apply

show examples

compete with others.

This

Linking Words

is because competing is the primary reason that has driven many

people

Use synonyms

Add the particle

to go

show examples

to work and improve

themselve

Correct your spelling

themselves

; in regards to cooperation, despite presenting some superiorities, it has its own undeniable weakness is that it could help some lazy

people

Use synonyms

exploit their peers.

As a result

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

phenomenon may lead to

the

Correct article usage

show examples

general downgrade

Change preposition

show examples

working quality. In conclusion,

Linking Words

although

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

each sides show

their

Correct pronoun usage

its

show examples

own advantages, namely motivating

people

Use synonyms

enhance

Add the particle

to enhance

show examples

themselve

Correct your spelling

themselves

and resolving

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

problems more effectively.

However

Linking Words

, I guarantee that it is still important to have

competitions

Use synonyms

among

inviduals

Correct your spelling

individuals

due to

Linking Words

the role which it plays,

as well as

Linking Words

the limitation of cooperation.

AE Gay lordThu May 08 2025

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Language Use

Be careful with spelling and word choice (e.g., 'neccessary' should be 'necessary', 'inviduals' should be 'individuals', and 'cooperations' should be 'cooperation').

Task Response

In your introduction, it would improve clarity if you explicitly stated your opinion on competition vs. cooperation instead of only stating you have a personal opinion supporting competition.

Coherence and Cohesion

While discussing both views, try to ensure that your examples are diverse and not repetitive. Using Netflix as an example twice can make your argument seem less robust.

Coherence and Cohesion

The conclusion should summarize your key points and reaffirm your opinion more strongly. Instead of saying 'I guarantee', you might use stronger language to assert your stance.

Task Response

Your essay addresses both sides of the argument and provides personal opinions, which is an essential requirement.

Task Response

You provide relevant examples that connect back to your points, demonstrating engagement with the topic.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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15
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
31
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

318 words

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Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other. Discuss both these views and give yourown opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

In many countries, children are engaged in some kind of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong, while others consider it as valuable work experience. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Social media has become a real problem for some young people today, and governments should create laws that allow only people over 18 years of age to have accounts. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Around the world, rural people are moving to cities and urban areas, so populations in the countryside are decreasing. Is this a positive or negative development?

Some say that advertisements of toys and snacks have a huge impact on children and their parents, and therefore advertising to children should be banned. Do you agree or disagree with the statement? Give your own opinion.

In some culture children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disavdantages of giving children this message?