IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In today’s society people tend to buy many things and throw them away even though they can still be used. What are some causes of this behaviour? What are some effects? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

People
Use synonyms
 buy a
lot
Use synonyms
 of
things
Use synonyms
Linking Words
due to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 a
lot
Use synonyms
 of reasons
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and just
Wrong verb form
dispose
show examples
disposed
Add the preposition
disposed of
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 after
loosing
Replace the word
losing
show examples
 interest. Even though they can still use it and are still working, in
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will tackle the reasons and the result of
this
Linking Words
. Society
buy
Change the verb form
buys
show examples
 a
lot
Use synonyms
 of
stuffs
Change the wording
stuff
kinds of stuff
pieces of stuff
show examples
due to
Linking Words
 the influence of social media, where all
people
Use synonyms
easily
Add a missing verb
are easily
show examples
 convinced to buy
things
Use synonyms
 they don't really need. By watching videos and celebrities who endorse the item by admiring
them
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
,
people
Use synonyms
 tend to purchase it. Other causes of
this
Linking Words
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
 are the feeling of self-worth and status by getting the items,
people
Use synonyms
feel
Wrong verb form
feeling
show examples
 good and
seek
Wrong verb form
seeking
show examples
 validation from these material
things
Use synonyms
, and other
people
Use synonyms
admire
Wrong verb form
admiring
show examples
 them.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it can result
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 a
lot
Use synonyms
 of impulse buying,
for instance
Linking Words
 buying a car just to show off it means you are in a higher level status in life and seeking
validations
Fix the agreement mistake
validation
show examples
 in material
things
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, after we feel good and get tired, we dispose of it.
For example
Linking Words
, after buying a
lot
Use synonyms
 of furniture at home that looks old and dirty, we try to get rid of it.
Also
Linking Words
 believing no one will use or like the second-hand stuff.
On the contrary
Linking Words
, it has a detrimental outcome to our environment, the usage of plastic can be dissolved only after 20 years.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, climate change will be more active because of the pollution that it can bring.
To conclude
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 should try to discipline themselves when it comes to buying. Buy only
things
Use synonyms
 that
needed
Add a missing verb
are needed
show examples
 and necessary, it can give a
lot
Use synonyms
 of space
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 your home and
the
Change preposition
at the
show examples
 same time not
affecting
Wrong verb form
affect
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
mother
nature
Capitalize word
Nature
show examples
. And always remember that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
real happiness
is
Verb problem
does
show examples
 not
depends
Correct subject-verb agreement
depend
show examples
 on the material
things
Use synonyms
 that we have.

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language
Ensure proper subject-verb agreement and article usage. For instance, 'disposed it' should be 'dispose of it' and 'society buy' should be 'society buys'.
development
Clarify and elaborate on key points for a more comprehensive view. For example, explain how impulse buying directly affects one's financial stability.
coherence
Provide a smoother transition between points to enhance the flow of arguments made throughout the essay.
idea
You've identified relevant causes and effects of the behavior, showcasing a clear understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • consumerism
  • planned obsolescence
  • environmental impact
  • marketing and advertising
  • social status
  • wealth
  • donate
  • recycle
  • identity
  • discard
What to do next:
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