IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Maintaining public libraries is a waste of money since computer technology can replace their functions. Do you agree or disagree?

It is thought that keeping public
libraries
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 is not necessary as technology performs its function. Personally, I completely disagree and in
this
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 essay, I will state the reason for my view. On one hand, those who are in favour of the above point out that households can access any e-books that they desire online. A wide range of websites have been created for PDF books ,which readers can purchase once and use forever;
thus
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, it is easier and more cost-effective for consumers. Another potential reason for
this
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 is that authorities can spend the money that they are expenditure on
libraries
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 on some other more important sectors
such
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 as health and education.
For example
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, if governments purchase for deriving new health-related innovations
such
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 as treating cancer and diabetes, they can save many lives and increase longevity
overall
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.
On the other hand
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, I strongly believe that maintaining
libraries
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 is a crucial key to encouraging
people
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 to read more.
While
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 a large number of
people
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 use technology for watching social media and gaming, they do not tend to spend time on reading,
as a result
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, the average reading may sharply decrease over time. When
people
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 visit those places, they are highly likely to read.
Secondly
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,
libraries
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 are not used only for reading, many students study there and do their team homework there. In conclusion,
however
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, technology plays a crucial role in reading books online and makes it more straightforward to touch with, in my opinion, remaining public
libraries
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also
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 have their benefits
such
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 as persuading
people
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 to read.

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task achievement
While your essay presents a clear viewpoint, it would benefit from more detailed explanations and examples to strengthen your arguments. Consider using specific statistics or studies that show the impact of libraries, or more examples of how reading encourages personal development.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and that the supporting sentences relate directly to this topic. This will help strengthen the logical flow of your ideas.
positive
Your introduction clearly states your position, and your conclusion effectively summarizes your arguments.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • repositories of books
  • promoting literacy
  • community engagement
  • equal access to information
  • digital divide
  • accessibility issues
  • personalized assistance
  • educational programs
  • cultural events
  • safe spaces
  • community meetings
  • tactile experience
  • preserving historical documents
  • important cultural repositories
  • fostering a sense of community
  • communal hubs
  • serene and focused environment
  • conducive to study and reflection
  • irreplaceable value
  • distracted environment
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