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Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people think that robots will replace many jobs, others think that technology will create new job opportunities. Discuss the both views and give your own opinion

A few individuals believe that technologies will replace some professions, which can cause unemployment, meanwhile, others argue that it will create new job opportunities,
such
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 as helping to do boring tasks. Both views have their valid points and the essay will discuss them before presenting my own opinion.
To begin
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 with, robots replacing humans at work can lead to unemployment, which is a major issue, especially for low-skilled
workers
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.
That is
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 to say, they may find it difficult to secure new
jobs
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 in a rapidly advancing technological environment.
For example
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, in the USA, in the most popular market called Walmart, cashiers were increasingly replaced by self-checkout machines, in 2015.
As a result
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, it has left many low-skilled
workers
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 struggling to find new employment, as these positions are being automated, and they may not have the technical skills needed to transition into higher-skilled roles.
On the other hand
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, some humans believe that technology will not take away
jobs
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 but will
instead
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 change the nature of work. Rather than replacing
workers
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, automation can help by taking over tedious and repetitive tasks, allowing employees to concentrate on more interesting and creative aspects of their
jobs
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.
For instance
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, in Azerbaycan a person can order food with the help of robots.
That is
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 to say, he can give his order to the robot and
then
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 the food will be done by people. In conclusion,
while
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 it is true that automation and robots may replace certain
jobs
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, especially for low-skilled
workers
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, it is
also
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 clear that technology has the potential to transform the workforce by creating new opportunities. By automating repetitive tasks, society can focus on more creative and fulfilling aspects of their business. In my opinion, both perspectives have their place to be but I think that unemployment is a really big issue that cannot be solved easily.

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Task Achievement
Ensure that the introduction clearly outlines both views and your opinion more explicitly.
Task Achievement
Make sure to support all main points with clear examples and explanations to strengthen your arguments.
Coherence and Cohesion
Work on creating smoother transitions between paragraphs to enhance the flow of the essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
Consider adding more depth to your conclusion by summarizing key points or restating the importance of both perspectives.
Task Achievement
The essay presents both sides of the argument fairly, which demonstrates balanced consideration of the topic.
Task Achievement
Clear examples are provided to illustrate the points being made, which helps in understanding your argument.
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