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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some believe secondary students should learn international news as a subject at school, while others think it’s a waste of time. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In recent years, the idea of incorporating international
news
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 into secondary
school
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 curricula has sparked considerable debate.
While
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 some argue that
this
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 subject could be a valuable addition, others contend that it may be a distraction from more essential academic subjects. In my view, introducing global affairs to
students
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 is both beneficial and necessary in the modern world.
This
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 essay will discuss both sides of the argument before concluding with my own perspective. On the one hand, proponents of teaching international
news
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 at
school
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 emphasize the importance of fostering
a
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global awareness among
students
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. In an increasingly interconnected world, it is essential for young people to understand international issues
such
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 as climate change, economic disparities, and global health challenges.
For instance
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, teaching
students
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 about the impact of global warming can inspire them to think critically and contribute innovative solutions from an early age.
Moreover
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, knowledge of global events can help
students
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 develop a sense of responsibility toward society, motivating them to engage in actions that have a broader, positive impact.
On the other hand
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, opponents argue that
students
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 should focus primarily on core academic subjects like mathematics, science, and literature. They believe that secondary
school
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 years are crucial for mastering fundamental skills
,
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 and that the time spent learning about international
news
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 could be better used to deepen
students
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’ understanding of subjects that directly contribute to their academic and professional futures.
Furthermore
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, some argue that international
news
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 may be too complex or irrelevant to young learners who are not yet capable of fully grasping the nuances of
such
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 topics. In conclusion,
while
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 there are valid arguments against introducing international
news
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 into secondary
school
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 curricula, the benefits of fostering a global perspective far outweigh the drawbacks.
Students
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 who are aware of global issues are better equipped to navigate and contribute to the world they will inherit, making the inclusion of
such
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 content both a valuable and necessary aspect of education.

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coherence
Consider rephrasing some sentences for clarity and flow. For example, the sentence starting with 'Moreover' could be more explicitly connected to the previous point about fostering responsibility.
structure
The essay presents a clear structure with a well-defined introduction, body paragraphs discussing both views, and a strong conclusion.
example
The use of specific examples, such as climate change, effectively supports the arguments presented.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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