IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people think that when recruiting, companies should aim to take on people who are innovative and able to work independently, while others consider they should recruit people who are able to work in a team and follow instructions. Discuss both views and give your opinion

While
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 hiring
employees
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, it is advised by some individuals that organisations should select
people
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 who are able to
work
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 independently and have technology knowledge.
However
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, others are in favour of
employees
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, who can perform
tasks
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 in a team and follow the guidelines of the employer. I believe that recruitment should be
according to
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 the
work
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companies
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 are doing and the
requirement
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requirements
show examples
 of
work
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. On the one side, citizens who thought of selecting innovative and independent
people
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 because it is the technology era, the
employees
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 who can handle technology
such
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 as computers and machines, and have the ability to perform
tasks
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 without any assistance put less burden on employers.
As a result
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, management can focus on another
neccessary
Correct your spelling
necessary
 task which is crucial in the
companies
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instead
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 of worrying about how their workers are working.
Therefore
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, the
overall
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 performance of the organisation will be improved. On the other side, workers should
also
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 know how to
work
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 in a team and how to follow the rules set by their organisations.
For example
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, the process of manufacturing medicines requires team support and instructions on every step. If someone fails one step it will cause harm to society and
people
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.
Thus
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, it is crucial to have
teamworkwork
Correct your spelling
teamwork work
 and the ability to know how to read and follow the rules. Which means
work
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 efficiency is in safe hands.
Moreover
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, it is true that
people
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 should be hired
according to
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 the traits they have. But
according to
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 my prospectives, selection should be based on the
work
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companies
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 are performing, rather than focusing on just qualities they should
also
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 consider the nature of
work
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employees
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 are going to handle.
Consequently
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,
companies
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 will less worry later on when their workers will be handling job
tasks
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. In conclusion,
people
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 have different opinions about hiring
employees
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 but I believe that it should be based on the
tasks
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 which
employees
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 will perform in the future.

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task achievement
Ensure that all points made in the essay are fully developed and supported with examples where possible. This can improve the clarity and comprehensiveness of your arguments.
coherence and cohesion
Try to use more cohesive devices (such as linking words and phrases) to enhance the flow and connect ideas more smoothly throughout the essay.
task achievement
You presented both sides of the argument and included your own opinion, adhering well to the task requirement.
coherence and cohesion
The structure of the essay is clear, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, making it easy to follow your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • innovative
  • independent
  • creative
  • problem-solving skills
  • development
  • new ideas
  • solutions
  • productivity
  • competitiveness
  • teamwork
  • collaboration
  • communication
  • consistency
  • adherence
  • policies
  • conflicts
  • efficiency
What to do next:
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