Some people say that in the modern world, getting old is entirely bad. Others, however, say that life for the elderly nowadays is much better than it was in the past. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

In my
opinion
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, getting old is always bad, but in some cases, it is not so bad. In the modern, world there are more opportunities for older
people
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than it was before. I will try to discuss both views and explain my
opinion
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in
this
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essay.
Firstly
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, nowadays
people
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live way longer than it was before and medical opportunities allow you to stay in good shape much longer than they were a few decades ago. From
this
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point of view of course
that is
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a huge benefit for those
people
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who are retired. In
this
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case, I can not even find at least one disadvantage for old
people
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nowadays, maybe too many digital devices, which is not good for the eyes, but it is not good for all of us not only for old
people
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.
Secondly
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,
for example
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, my grandparents lived in a different country because it was a different period in the history of my country so, life was much more difficult than it is now. And back in those days, I think, human rights and the level of free sociality were much lower than nowadays, which was not a good thing. So, today we live in a better world from different viewpoints, but the main point is that the older generation can relate to us easily because of social media, stay online, chat and be in touch with grandkids. In my
opinion
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, the fact that we can be closer to our grandparents is the best point. In conclusion, I think, I explained my
opinion
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in a clear way and gave enough examples from my own experience.

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Task Achievement
Your introduction could be clearer by explicitly stating your opinion and the positions you will discuss. This helps the reader understand your viewpoint better.
Coherence and Cohesion
Try to create clearer transitions between paragraphs to improve the flow of your essay. For example, using linking phrases at the beginning of each paragraph can help guide the reader.
Task Achievement
Consider adding more specific examples to support your points. This will strengthen your arguments and make your ideas more convincing.
Task Achievement
You expressed a clear opinion and attempted to present both sides of the argument, which is a good approach to this type of essay.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite
Topic Vocabulary:
  • elderly
  • modern world
  • decline
  • physical
  • mental health
  • diseases
  • disabilities
  • social isolation
  • loneliness
  • access
  • healthcare
  • medications
  • lifelong learning
  • personal growth
  • social support
  • community engagement
  • positive aspects
  • negative aspects
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