IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The table and graph below show information about cinema visit is in Auckland between 1995 and 2003. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The table and graph below show information about cinema visit is in Auckland between 1995 and 2003. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
The table and line chart illustrate the information about Auckland citizens visiting
Use synonyms
cinema
Correct article usage
the cinema
show examples
 from 1995 to 2003,
as well as
Linking Words
 the percentage of
population
Add an article
the population
show examples
 attending the
cinema
Use synonyms
 and the average broken down by four
age
Use synonyms
 groups.
Overall
Linking Words
, the proportion of Auckland people going to
Use synonyms
cinema
Correct article usage
the cinema
show examples
 slightly increased over the
8 years of
Correct your spelling
8-year
 period,
while
Linking Words
average
Change the article
an average
the average
show examples
number
Use synonyms
 of
cinema
Use synonyms
visits
Use synonyms
 fluctuated. The 14-24
age
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
consistenly
Correct your spelling
consistently
 had the highest
cinema
Use synonyms
 visit,
whereas
Linking Words
 the
age
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
 of more than 50
year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
show examples
 old was the least. In 1995, 67% of the population visited the
cinema
Use synonyms
 with the average
number
Use synonyms
 of
visits
Use synonyms
was
Wrong verb form
being
show examples
 10.3.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 figure saw a similar
number
Use synonyms
 of 72% in 1997 and 1994.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the average
number
Use synonyms
 of attendances peaked in 1997 at 11.2
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and dropped to 7.3 in the next 2 years.
Additionally
Linking Words
, the
cinema
Use synonyms
visits
Use synonyms
 reached its peak of 80% visitors in 2001. The line graph indicated a similar trend across all
Use synonyms
group
Fix the agreement mistake
groups
show examples
 of ages. The 14-24
age
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
 had the highest mean of
cinema
Use synonyms
visits
Use synonyms
 throughout the period, peaking around 1997. Followed by the
group
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 of 25-34 and 35-49 years old.
In addition
Linking Words
, the
group
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 of 50 and above remained the lowest average of movie
visits
Use synonyms
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words cinema, age, number, visits, group with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • cinema attendance
  • average number of visits
  • population growth
  • leisure activity
  • entertainment preferences
  • complexes
  • increased participation
  • trends
  • correlation
  • digital cinema technology
  • film genres
  • entertainment options
  • dramatic increase
  • a significant jump
  • residents of Auckland
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