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Band 6

The school Library is seeking applicants for job over summer break. Write a letter to the library's manager, In the letter include: A brief introduction of yourself Your experience and relevant skills Why you want the job Dear Sir or Madam,

#school #library #applicants #job #summer #manager #introduction #skills #sir #madam
I am writing
this
 letter regarding the
job
 posting of clerk in the library throughout the summer. I have filled out the standard application which I have found on the website. My name is Jagdeep and I am an international student from India. I have recently enrolled in
MBA
Correct article usage
an MBA
show examples
 at York University. I had previous experience as a data entry clerk at Brain Limited from year 2017 to 2019 and I had gained knowledge about time and management. I have
also
 worked with GCG Limited as an administration officer from the year 2020 to 2021. As
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 I had earlier
job
 experience quite like what these
job
 responsibilities are I think I am the will right candidate for the
job
. I
also
 enjoy organizing things and helping other people. I am available full-time during my summer break. Hope to hear from you soon. Yours Sincerely, Jagdeep
Submitted by deep4u4all1 on

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coherence cohesion
Although your letter is clear, try to use more varied sentence structures to improve readability and engagement.
task achievement
You might want to proofread for minor grammatical errors and awkward phrases, such as 'As, I had earlier job experience quite like what these job responsibilities are I think I am the will right candidate for the job.' This can enhance the overall clarity and professionalism of your letter.
task achievement
You have included all necessary components in your letter, such as a brief introduction, experience and skills, and your reason for applying.
coherence cohesion
Your closing is polite and professional.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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