Some people believe that young children under 18 years old should not be allow to go out after midnight, while other thinks the opposite? Discuss both views and give your opinion

first of all, we have two situations to discuss. the first one is people that believe children under 18 should not go out after
midnight
Use synonyms
, in my
opinion
Add the comma(s)
opinion,
show examples
this
Linking Words
is the right call. because after
midnight
Use synonyms
is the time when it
is become
Change to the active voice
becomes
has become
show examples
more dangerous for them. we faced a lot of cases that
include
Wrong verb form
included
show examples
drunk people from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
bars,
criminals
Correct word choice
and criminals
show examples
which possible to carry guns and it
is
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
the right time to sleep not
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
hang out. now
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
will discuss the second idea which is people
thinks
Correct subject-verb agreement
think
show examples
that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
children should go out after
midnight
Use synonyms
. in
this
Linking Words
case
Add a comma
case,
show examples
they might
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
think
that is
Linking Words
a part of freedom for the kids but from my
side
Add a comma
side,
show examples
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
will say it is not the right idea because freedom
include
Change the verb form
includes
show examples
a lot of things, not just
go
Wrong verb form
going
show examples
out after
midnight
Use synonyms
. they should know that they can see the freedom from another point of view and give it with entertainment activity, free time after school and play video games.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence and cohesion
Try to present your ideas with clear topic sentences and connect your points more effectively.
task achievement
Expand on your reasons and provide more examples to support your views.
task achievement
You have presented both sides of the argument clearly.
task achievement
Your opinion is stated clearly, which is important for this type of essay.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Curfew
  • Potential dangers
  • Mature decisions
  • Personal development
  • Parental supervision
  • Earn trust
  • Legal restrictions
  • Societal norms
  • Minors
  • Sleep patterns
  • Performance in school
  • Overall health
What to do next:
Look at other essays: