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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts show the information about the use of Internet in five countries in Erope in 2000.

The charts show the information about the use of Internet in five countries in Erope in 2000.
The provided bar chart depicts
the
Correct article usage
apply
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information about the proportion of
population
Add an article
the population
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 using
Correct article usage
the inthernet
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inthernet
Correct your spelling
Internet
 in five distinct countries, including
Spain
Use synonyms
. France, Sweden, Germany, the
UK
Use synonyms
. The pie chart shows insights about the average spending on online shopping per person, it is measured by euro.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that the
rate
Use synonyms
 of individuals using the
Use synonyms
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
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 is the highest in
Swden
Correct your spelling
Sweden
,
while
Linking Words
 the lowest
rate
Use synonyms
 is in
Spain
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the
UK
Use synonyms
 has the greatest proportion
at
Change preposition
of
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 spending money on online shopping,
whereas
Linking Words
Spain
Use synonyms
 has the minimum level. Moving to a more detailed analysis, the figure for people
the
Change preposition
at the
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 highest level
at
Change preposition
of
show examples
 using the
internet
Use synonyms
 in Sweden, accounting for 35%. The percentage of population in the
UK
Use synonyms
, Germany, and France are 20%, 15%, and 10%, respectively.
Spain
Use synonyms
 has the lowest
rate
Use synonyms
at
Change preposition
of
show examples
 using the
Use synonyms
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
. With regard to the details of the pie chart, in the
UK
Use synonyms
, the
percetage
Correct your spelling
percentage
 of people spending money on shopping on the
Use synonyms
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 the highest level among the others, making up 87%. Sweden, France,
Germany
Correct word choice
and Germany
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 are 76%, 57%, and 46%, respectively. The
UK
Use synonyms
 has the lowest
rate
Use synonyms
, at 10%.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words spain, uk, rate, internet with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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