IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In recent years, there has been a significant increase in the number of oil drilling operations in remote locations around the world. This has brought economic benefits to some countries, though it has also raised concerns about the environmental impact of these operations. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion. Umar

Worldwide, there
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 been
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 important rise in the figure of
oil
Use synonyms
 drilling operations in isolated areas ,for the
last
Linking Words
 years. That encouraged
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
economic advantages to several nations, even though it has increased worries about the environmental influence of these
process
Fix the agreement mistake
processes
show examples
.
Although
Linking Words
 that can be awful for the local environment, I believe that
Oil
Use synonyms
 drilling in remote zones frequently leads to work definite and attracts foreign investments.
On
Correct your spelling
One
show examples
 of the
reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
show examples
 I agree
that
Add a missing verb
is that
show examples
 fuel gaining in far settlements often
cause
Correct subject-verb agreement
causes
show examples
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
work placement,in spite of, contamination,difficulties and fear of health
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
. Around the world, millions of individuals,
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can`t find
occupation
Correct article usage
an occupation
show examples
 and their
figure
Fix the agreement mistake
figures
show examples
 obviously increasing,day by day.And best approach solution is to employ them, that decision
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
show examples
 to prevent to going up of jobless human and for government
Fix the infinitive
to gives
show examples
gives
Correct subject-verb agreement
give
show examples
 new
opportunity
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opportunities
show examples
 with new staff. There is a classic example, In
Switzeland
Correct your spelling
Switzerland
researches
Correct your spelling
researchers
show examples
 find new significant resources,far
to
Change preposition
from
show examples
 capital. Administration
Immideately
Correct your spelling
immediately
 began to hire persons around the
sity
Correct your spelling
city
 and villages and
Linking Words
subsequently
Add a comma
subsequently,
show examples
 20,000
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
local citizens
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
worked in special works thereby there was
rapidly
Correct article usage
a rapidly
show examples
falling
Verb problem
increasing
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
number of homeless and underprivileged.
Moreover
Linking Words
,it
definetely
Correct your spelling
definitely
 can open up new investments
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
other countries. Finding
rarely
Change the word
rare
show examples
 materials
under ground
Correct your spelling
underground
show examples
,mainly lead to
interests
Correct article usage
the interests
show examples
 of other countries,especially from International companies and personal investors.
Relationship
Fix the agreement mistake
Relationships
show examples
 among nations
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 important.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, deals
betwen
Correct your spelling
between
 states can promote big opportunities for both of the countries
such
Linking Words
 as economic growth,visitors and support by
overseas
Add an article
the overseas
an overseas
show examples
 republic.
For instance
Linking Words
, In Kazakhstan in city
Aktay
Change preposition
of Aktay
show examples
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
investigated a huge quantity of
oil
Use synonyms
,after spreading information government of KZ was offered more than 100 offers by other nations to
became
Change the form of the verb
become
show examples
 investors,and nowadays Kazakhstan have the best
economic
Replace the word
economy
show examples
,advanced tourism and army supplies in central Asia. In
counclusion
Correct your spelling
conclusion
,even though it can pollute and negatively
effected to
Verb problem
affect
show examples
 the environment, I consider that
Oil
Use synonyms
 drilling in far places causes
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
new workplaces and
contribute
Correct subject-verb agreement
contributes
show examples
 to
attracts
Wrong verb form
attracting
show examples
 overseas people`s investments.

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grammar
Try to improve your grammar and clarity in some sentences. For example, 'a important rise' should be 'an important rise'. Focus on using correct articles and verb forms.
coherence
Make sure your paragraphs are well-structured, with clear topic sentences and supporting sentences that directly relate to the main point of the paragraph.
relevance
Consider providing more specific examples to support your points, particularly regarding the environmental impacts of oil drilling. This will strengthen your argument and make it more convincing.
task achievement
You clearly present both sides of the issue and provide a personal opinion, which is essential for this task.
coherence
Your essay has a logical progression of ideas, making it easier for the reader to follow your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • economic benefits
  • foreign investment
  • infrastructure development
  • revenue
  • social services
  • healthcare
  • environmental concerns
  • oil spills
  • habitat destruction
  • water contamination
  • climate change
  • greenhouse gas emissions
  • indigenous communities
  • social justice issues
  • sustainable energy alternatives
  • renewable energy sources
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