IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The most important aim of science should be to improve people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

There is no denying the fact that the most important goal of
science
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 should be to develop a nation’s
lives
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. I totally agree and support
this
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 idea because a person's life is all about
science
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such
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 as
physics
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, chemistry and biology.Sciences
also
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 play a big
role
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 in health and
medicine
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.
To begin
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 with, a person’s life depends on
science
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 and its applications, sciences are used in everyday life and in a person’s daily routine.
For example
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, in the daily routine, a person may start his or her day with a cup of coffee, so he or she boils water to make it,
this
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 is one of the examples of
physics
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. Another example of
physics
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 is that when a person walks he or she uses a type of machine in his or her legs.
Moreover
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, sciences play a big
role
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 in health and making
medicine
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, or even when making surgeries.
For instance
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, a
medicine
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 may contain many chemicals or
while
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 making it scientists use many machines which is a real example of chemistry and
physics
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.
In addition
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 to that, a doctor has to know the causes of disease to give the patient the best
medicine
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. In conclusion,
science
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 plays a big
role
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 in people's
lives
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.
This
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role
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 will help them do everything they need easily.In my opinion,
science
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 will help people in their daily
lives
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 and in their health. Many people think that
science
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 is not a part of their
lives
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, but if they focus on everything, they realise that
science
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 is all around them and it has a huge effect on their
lives
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.

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task achievement
Consider refining your introduction to clearly state the extent of your agreement with the statement and outline the key points you will discuss in your essay.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main point and provides clear links or transitions to help the reader follow your argument more easily.
coherence and cohesion
Use varied vocabulary and sentence structures to enhance clarity and engagement in your writing. Avoid repetition of certain words or phrases.
task achievement
You have provided relevant examples that illustrate your points about the role of science in everyday life and health.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay structure is clear, with distinct introduction, body, and conclusion sections, which aids in organizing your ideas.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • crucial role
  • enhancing
  • quality of human life
  • advancements
  • medicine
  • healthcare
  • scientific research
  • solving societal problems
  • improving living standards
  • global issues
  • climate change
  • food scarcity
  • technological advancements
  • limitations
  • negative consequences
  • ethical considerations
  • sustainability
  • environmental preservation
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