IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people want governments to spend money looking for life on other planets. Others, however, think this is a waste of public money when there are so many problems on earth. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from own knowledge or experience.

There are different points of view on how
governments
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 should spend public
money
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.
While
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 some people believe that it is worth searching for
life
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 on other
planets
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, others claim that it is a waste of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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public
money
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 and that
governments
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 have to tackle first more urgent issues. As far as I am concerned, looking for other forms of
life
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 reserves attention from public institutions,
however
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, earth plenty of problems which has to be addressed. Those who believe that there is
life
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 on other
planets
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,
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 rely on the growing evidence suggesting that some new organisms, or even human
life
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, may be found on
planets
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such
Linking Words
 as Mars or Saturn.
As a consequence
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,
governments
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 are funding projects to gather more evidence.
For example
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, in 2024, NASA received 4 billion dollars to reach the goal of getting humans to Mars, which is 'our next-door neighbour'.
Moreover
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, television is broadcasting an increasing number of programmes about the presence of aliens and extraterrestrials, pushing
governments
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 to make investments in the matter.
Nevertheless
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, despite numerous missions and observations, scientists have not found proof of
life
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's existence on other
planets
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.
However
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, despite numerous missions and observations, scientists have not found proof of
life
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's existence on other
planets
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.
Furthermore
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, the world is facing pressure on different fronts: from environmental to geopolitical issues, and countries need more
money
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 to spend on their industries and citizens. The current trade war started in February, after the re-election of Donald Trump as US President, had
waken
Wrong verb form
wakened
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governments
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 on the need to preserve their goods.
Moreover
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, the rate of poverty rose by about 5% in the
last
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 three years and citizens can't neither afford to pay their energy bills. So , spending
money
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 to develop theories that have not had results until now is a waste of time and could jeopardize the lives of citizens. In conclusion,
while
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 some research claims that a new form of
life
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 may be found, the earth has pressing issues which deserve public funding.

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task achievement
Try to provide a more balanced view in your discussion. Make sure to clearly articulate the reasoning behind both perspectives before providing your own opinion.
coherence cohesion
Work on improving the flow of ideas, ensuring smoother transitions between points. This can help guide the reader through your argument more effectively.
task achievement
Enhance the specificity of your examples. Providing concrete cases or studies can make your points more persuasive and relatable.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear opinion and attempts to reflect on both views regarding the search for extraterrestrial life.
task achievement
You have included some relevant examples, such as NASA's funding, which supports your discussion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • unprecedented opportunities
  • extraterrestrial
  • satisfy human curiosity
  • practical benefits
  • inspiring goal
  • testament to human ambition
  • pursuit of knowledge
  • critics argue
  • imprudent
  • plague Earth
  • immediate attention
  • allocated for
  • environmental conservation
  • well-being
  • quality of life
  • balanced approach
  • advancements
  • benefits for humanity
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