IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

Many criminals commit further crimes as soon as they released from prison. What do you think are the causes of this? What possible solutions can you suggest?

It is not uncommon to commit new crimes shortly after being released. There are many reasons for
this
Linking Words
 pattern;
however
Linking Words
, a lack of support and limited opportunities are often to blame. I think both the justice system and society are responsible for how former offenders reintegrate, and both can make a difference in changing the outcome. Specifically, one of the biggest obstacles faced by ex-prisoners is employment. Many individuals who are released are unable to secure a job, as employers are often reluctant to trust someone with a criminal record, regardless of how much they may have changed.
As a result
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, they struggle to meet basic needs without a stable income, which may drive them back to illegal activity.
Moreover
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, the situation becomes even more complicated for those who lack positive social ties. If a person returns to the same social circle or neighbourhood that was a contributor to their earlier behaviour, avoiding negative influences becomes much more complicated. Another problem is that many prisoners are released with little preparation. Some spend years inside without gaining qualifications, skills or even basic psychological support. Under no circumstances should people be expected to cope outside without these tools. What is needed is consistent, practical help after release—temporary housing, mental health services and guidance with work applications.
For example
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, countries like Norway have mentoring programmes where former offenders support each other through reintegration.
Such
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 an initiative has already been shown to be more effective in reducing recidivism than purely punitive approaches. At the same time, education and training inside prison must not be overlooked either. It can be concluded that reoffending is often the result of societal exclusion or marginalisation. If crime reduction is prioritised, ex-prisoners need to be given a second chance for successful reintegration.

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Task Achievement
Your essay presents a clear and comprehensive response to the task. You effectively address the causes of reoffending and provide relevant solutions. However, expanding on your examples could enhance your argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
The logical structure of your essay is strong, with a clear introduction, well-developed body paragraphs, and a strong conclusion. Good use of linking words would further improve the flow between ideas.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your argument is well-structured, with clear topic sentences and relevant supporting details, making it easy for the reader to follow your points.
Task Achievement
You address both causes and solutions effectively, showcasing a deep understanding of the issues surrounding recidivism in your discussion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Rehabilitation
  • Reintegrate
  • Social stigma
  • Recidivism
  • Criminal records
  • Ex-offender
  • Associations
  • Comprehensive
  • Workforce
  • Mentoring
  • Incentivize
  • Stigmatize
  • Subsidies
  • Legitimate
What to do next:
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