The government should control the amount of violence in films and on TV in order to reduce the amount of violent crimes in the society. Do you agree or disagree?

It is undeniable that people start following everything

whatever

Correct pronoun usage

that

show examples

is shown on television even

Correct word choice

if it

show examples

is a good thing or bad for them. The are many people who become aggressive and

indulged

Wrong verb form

indulge

show examples

themselves

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

crimes

Use synonyms

by watching

Change preposition

apply

show examples

movies

Use synonyms

. I wholeheartedly agree with the statement that

government

Correct article usage

the government

show examples

should pay attention to

this

Linking Words

matter. There is no doubt that there are so many action

movies

Use synonyms

which demonstrate

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

aggressiveness,

crimes

Use synonyms

and political riots which indirectly

put

Verb problem

have

show examples

bad

Correct article usage

a bad

show examples

impact on the behaviour of common people.

Moreover

Linking Words

, racist

descrimination

Correct your spelling

discrimination

also

Linking Words

presented in

movies

Use synonyms

that grabbed the attention of folks.

Movies

Use synonyms

make them think about superiority or

caste

Correct article usage

the caste

show examples

system. Moving

further

Linking Words

, the amount of

crimes

Use synonyms

,thefts and

Robbery

Fix the agreement mistake

Robberies

show examples

that are shown in cinemas

also

Linking Words

encouraged children to commit those

crimes

Use synonyms

. Which negatively

affect

Correct subject-verb agreement

affects

show examples

the future generation of

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society.

Instead

Linking Words

of presenting

such

Linking Words

kind of violence directors should depict some good deeds

this

Linking Words

will not only reduce the violence among individuals it will

also

Linking Words

help them to create

the

Correct article usage

show examples

sense of brotherhood.

In addition

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

, it should be the responsibility of the government to keep an eye on what kind of films are going to be released. With the help of

censor

Correct article usage

the censor

show examples

board

Add a comma

board,

show examples

they can restrict those

movies

Use synonyms

which support

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

criminality and vulgarity. In conclusion, I would say the inclining number of

crimes

Use synonyms

can be mitigated if authorities

willl

Correct your spelling

will

take their step forward because

this

Linking Words

is a good way to

instill

Change the spelling

instil

show examples

a sense of humanity and brotherhood in society.

sukhs5999Thu May 15 2025

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task achievement

Consider providing more elaboration on how violence in media translates into real-life actions. Include specific examples or studies that support your claim.

coherence and cohesion

Work on improving the logical flow of your ideas. Try to use clear topic sentences and transitions to connect your points more effectively.

coherence and cohesion

Check for grammatical errors and improve your sentence structure for clarity. For instance, rephrase some sentences for better readability.

task achievement

The essay presents a clear opinion and maintains a consistent position throughout.

task achievement

You effectively identify the government's role in regulating content as part of your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
20
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

248 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Regulate
Desensitization
Censorship
Impressionable
Exposure
Violent behavior
Societal impact
Preventive measures
Artistic freedom
Vulnerable
Ethical concerns
Monitoring
Influence
Content control
Crime reduction

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Some people say that the Internet is bringing people together by making the world smaller. Do you agree that the Internet is making it easier for people to communicate with one another?

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