IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

The best way to solve the world’s environmental problem is to increase the cost of fuel. Do you agree or disagree with this view

In
this
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 day and age, the topic of global
ecosystem
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ecosystems
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 has
undeniable
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undeniably
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 become a critical issue in the general public.
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While some
Correct word choice
Some
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 individuals argue that
high
Correct article usage
the high
show examples
 cost of
fuel
Use synonyms
 plays a key role in addressing
this
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 problem. Some maintain that there are
serveral
Correct your spelling
several
 solutions
in stead
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instead
show examples
 of
fuel
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 cost elevation.
This
Linking Words
 essay will provide thorough demonstrations about these contrasting
point
Fix the agreement mistake
points
show examples
 of
views
Fix the agreement mistake
view
show examples
. On the one hand, it is essential to recognize that residents ought to acknowledge the significant advantages associated with the increase
of
Change preposition
in
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fuel
Use synonyms
 payments. There is a crucial consideration that the utilization of public transportation will elevate
as well as
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 the expensive cost of
fuel
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, which means that without
a
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an
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 enormous amount of vehicles on the road, the atmosphere will absolutely be enhanced.
Furthermore
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, inhabitants are less rely on private
transportations
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transportation
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 and can be able to release the stress of budgeting when they
are
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apply
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no longer consume
unrenewable
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an unrenewable
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 source of
energy’s
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energy
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 vehicles.
On the other hand
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, let’s take a look at the different
point
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points
show examples
 of
this
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 solution. It is noteworthy that the risk of massive
unemloyment
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unemployment
 is an
unevitable
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inevitable
 part
if
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of
show examples
 the
administration
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administration's
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execute
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executes
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this
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 policy.
Therefore
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, it is
substantial
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important
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 to pay attention to many
others
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others'
other's
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resolution
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resolutions
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 in order to handle
with
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apply
show examples
the problem of
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the nature
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nature
Replace the word
natural
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 system. To
illustrates
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illustrate
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, citizens can avoid using single-use products, or switch off some unused electrical appliances In summary,
besides
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 the
raise
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rise
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 of
fuel
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 payments, other solutions had better be considered for the aim of
ecofriendly
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an ecofriendly
show examples
 atmosphere for
nowdays
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today
 and future generations.

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Task Achievement
Your introduction is a good start, but it could be stronger by clearly stating your position on the topic. Explicitly agreeing or disagreeing with the statement would give your essay more direction.
Task Achievement
Make sure to elaborate more on your main points. For instance, when discussing the benefits of raising fuel prices, further examples and explanations would help to deepen your argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
Try to enhance the logical flow of your paragraphs. For example, using transition words or phrases can help guide the reader through your ideas more smoothly.
Coherence and Cohesion
There are minor grammatical errors and awkward phrases that could be improved for better clarity, such as 'serverals solutions in stead of fuel cost elevation' which should be 'several solutions instead of raising fuel costs.'
Coherence and Cohesion
The conclusion could be more impactful. A summary of your main points along with a strong final thought would strengthen your overall argument.
Task Achievement
You have made a good attempt to present both sides of the argument, which shows an understanding of the complexity of the issue.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay structure is generally clear, with distinct paragraphs for each point, making it easy for the reader to follow your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • disproportionately affect
  • renewable sources
  • solar energy
  • equity in environmental policies
  • exacerbating social inequalities
  • incentivizing
  • subsidies
  • strict regulations
  • industrial emissions
  • sustainable local production
  • carbon footprints
  • punitive measures
  • sustainability efforts
  • robust and lasting changes
What to do next:
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