IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people fails in school, but ends up being successful in life. Why do you think that is the case? What is important things to succeed in life?

There is an ongoing debate over whether being successful in
school
Use synonyms
 makes
your
Correct pronoun usage
you
show examples
 successful in
life
Use synonyms
. Some people claim that you can'
t
Use synonyms
 learn some essential skills in
school
Use synonyms
 that you need to
posses
Correct your spelling
possess
show examples
 in order to be successful,
while
Linking Words
 others firmly believe that schools can help students learn how to work in teams and achieve
your
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 goals.
This
Linking Words
 essay will elucidate both sides of
this
Linking Words
 argument a provide a personal opinion. Nowadays, anyone can become successful with enough motivation and time.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, there is a trend where students who
failed
Wrong verb form
fail
show examples
 in
school
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 end up becoming successful in
life
Use synonyms
.
Thus
Linking Words
, It is believed that
school
Use synonyms
 doesn'
t
Use synonyms
 teach skills that will be useful in adulthood. I totally disagree with
this
Linking Words
 statement, because I believe that in
school
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 you can learn how to socialize with your classmates and pursue your goals. I think that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 the main cause of
this
Linking Words
 trend is luck. In today's fast-paced world, an accident can either end your
life
Use synonyms
 or give you a new beginning.
For example
Linking Words
, you might find a bag full of money on the road, and because of that accident, your
life
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 could completely change for the better. Just because some ignorant
indivuals
Correct your spelling
individuals
 got lucky doesn'
t
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 mean that you should stop learning in
school
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 and hope you will get lucky too. I think that the key to success is determination and hard work. Without hard
work
Add a comma
work,
show examples
 you can'
t
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 achieve anything in the current world. It is evident that motivated people achieve higher peaks than lazy individuals.
In addition
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, I think that to be successful you need to have good social skills
otherwise
Linking Words
 no one will be
intereseted
Correct your spelling
interested
 in you.
For instance
Linking Words
, recent research has revealed that 70% of
bilionaires
Correct your spelling
billionaires
 are good with social interactions. In conclusion,
this
Linking Words
 essay analyzed why
this
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 phenomenon
occur
Change the verb form
occurs
show examples
 and what are the most important things to succeed in
life
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.

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task achievement
Ensure to elaborate on your arguments with depth and provide a more balanced view when discussing the role of education.
coherence
Improve the structure of your paragraphs for better clarity, ensuring each paragraph focuses on one main idea.
cohesion
Proofread your work to correct minor grammatical issues, such as 'a' instead of 'an' before a vowel sound and the spelling of 'individuals'.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear personal opinion and argument regarding the role of success and education.
coherence
The introduction effectively outlines the debate and provides a roadmap for the essay.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • academic failure
  • learning styles
  • emotional intelligence
  • resilience
  • adaptability
  • entrepreneurial spirit
  • creativity
  • problem-solving
  • networking
  • interpersonal skills
  • opportunities
  • success stories
  • self-awareness
  • innovation
  • career development
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