Many believe that modern technology has brought people together, but others say that it has driven us apart. Discuss both viewpoints and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.

In other

people

Use synonyms

’s

perspective

Fix the agreement mistake

perspectives

show examples

, modernization has created a binding force that attaches most

people

Use synonyms

However

Linking Words

, others view it as a force that

separated

Wrong verb form

separates

show examples

many individuals. In today’s era of digital technology, an innovation,

such

Linking Words

as a smartphone, has created a rift among individuals, particularly most families, that seemed to be bounded by space but

was

Correct subject-verb agreement

were

show examples

miles apart in consciousness.

For example

Linking Words

, the prominent tradition in Filipino culture of sharing meals together and talking about the events that transpired that day was slowly vanishing as most families were now more enthusiastic

Change preposition

about

show examples

eating meals

while

Linking Words

using their mobile phones.

Apart from

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

, a significant number of

people

Use synonyms

prefer to use their mobile phones for gaming which results in meeting new online friends.

Furthermore

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

may create more divisions among families as these gamers will prefer to confide and interact with these online friends than actual

people

Use synonyms

Conversely

Linking Words

, the innovation of modern technology in the past few decades has been a force connecting

people

Use synonyms

together by video calls.

For example

Linking Words

, overseas Filipino workers often suffer from depression and homesickness, but until recently, these mental health issues were slowly being resolved by receiving audio calls or video calls from their loved ones in the Philippines. In line with

this

Linking Words

people

Use synonyms

that

utilizes

Change the verb form

utilize

show examples

online social media platforms, like

facebook

Capitalize word

Facebook

show examples

, usually

finds

Correct subject-verb agreement

find

show examples

people

Use synonyms

that they usually relate to in terms of experienced health problems. To elaborate, cancer patients or stroke survivors may interact in Facebook groups created for them in which they are able to find solace and alleviate the heaviness that their illness has brought in their lives thereby improving their mental health status in the process. In conclusion, I believe that technology

became

Wrong verb form

has become

show examples

an instrument that

connected

Wrong verb form

connects

show examples

people

Use synonyms

together even if they are miles apart.

In addition

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

technological advancement has

shown

Add a missing verb

been shown

show examples

to positively affect the mental wellness of most

people

Use synonyms

corpuzliezel96

May 15, 2025

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Task Achievement

Try to provide a clearer introduction that sets the stage for the discussion, indicating that there are two sides to the argument before delving into specifics.

Coherence and Cohesion

While you provided good examples, ensure that each point is fully developed and clearly linked to your overall argument to enhance clarity.

Task Achievement

Make sure to clearly articulate your own opinion in the conclusion, rather than just stating that technology connects people. This can strengthen your essay's position.

Content

Your essay effectively presents two contrasting viewpoints on the impact of technology, which is essential for this task.

Content

The use of specific examples from Filipino culture and personal experiences adds depth to your arguments and makes them relatable.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

308 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

connectivity
communicate
social media
virtual meetings
global community
isolation
distract
face-to-face interaction
personal connections
dependency
technology addiction
digital divide

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Many believe that modern technology has brought people together, but others say that it has driven us apart. Discuss both viewpoints and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.

In many countries, the number of people suffering from stress in the workplace is increasing. What do you think are the causes of this problem and what measures could be taken to tackle it?

These days many young people are spending less time doing outdoor activities such as hiking, mountain climbing, and enjoying nature. What are the reasons for this? How can we encourage them to do more of these activities?

Some people feel that manufacturers and supermarkets have the responsibility to reduce the amount of packaging of goods. While others argue that customers should avoid buying goods with a lot of packaging. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

what are the advantages and disadvantages of using cameras to fight crime?

“In many countries, paying for things using mobile phone (cellphone) apps is becoming increasingly common.” Does this development have more advantages or more disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.