Some people believe that it is better to work in a team, while others prefer working alone.

People have different views as to whether working teamwork or alone is more effective for  personal development.
Although
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working alone provides valuable opportunities to enhance personal knowledge and thinking, I believe that collaboration is beneficial in life. There are primary reasons
as to
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why it is considered by many people that working alone is
better
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a better
the better
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way for
the
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apply
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personal development. First and foremost, working independently can contribute to the development of better concentration.
This
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is to say, fostering a high level of concentration can promote an independent working style.
In addition
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, it leads to creative autonomy
as well as
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allows greater control over one's schedule.
Secondly
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, it increases productivity and efficiency at work, as people can manage their time more effectively.
As a result
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, they are more disciplined and can eliminate any distractions, creating a
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and focused working atmosphere.
However
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, others, including myself, believe that working in a team is even more important to prepare individuals for the many aspects of
adults
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adult
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life that require cooperation.
Initially
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, working collectively can enhance both critical and independent thinking, as they can share diverse ideas with one another.
This
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leads to expanded communication and interpersonal skills.
Furthermore
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, they can create a team-oriented environment and
fostering
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foster
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strong team-separate
as well as
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shared responsibility. These are essential qualities in both academic and professional settings. In conclusion, despite the fact that solo work is a beneficial way to develop, I still advocate the idea of cooperative work.

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task achievement
The introduction presents a clear stance, but it could be more concise. Consider rephrasing to avoid redundancy and enhance clarity.
task achievement
Ensure all main points are supported by specific examples or further explanations to strengthen your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Improve the flow of ideas by using linking words or phrases between and within sentences, which will create a smoother transition.
coherence and cohesion
Try to use more varied sentence structures to keep the reader engaged and demonstrate your language skills.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear opinion and a logical progression of ideas, which is essential for effective communication.
task achievement
You provide a balanced view by discussing both sides of the argument before concluding, which is commendable for task response.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
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