IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think thia is a positive or a negative development?

In recent years, a growing number of people have turned to traditional remedies, trusting the wisdom of past generations,
while
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 others reject conventional medicine entirely in
favor
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favour
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 of
alternative
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 treatments.
While
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this
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 trend carries both promise and peril, I believe a balanced approach is necessary. Some
alternative
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 therapies
offer
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 benefits, but their unregulated nature
also
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 poses significant risks. In
this
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 essay, I will explain why a middle ground is the most sensible stance. On the one hand, the dangers of unregulated treatments cannot be ignored. Many
alternative
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 remedies lack clinical testing and quality control, raising serious safety concerns. Some substances may contain toxic elements
such
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 as snake venom or poisonous herbs. More critically, individuals with serious conditions—
such
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 as cancer or autoimmune diseases—may delay essential medical treatment in
favor
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favour
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 of unproven methods, resulting in avoidable harm.
On the other hand
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, there is evidence supporting the efficacy of certain complementary practices.
For example
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, clinical trials have shown that acupuncture can reduce the frequency of migraine episodes. In areas like neurology, where treatment options are sometimes limited
due to
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 ethical constraints, these approaches can
offer
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 valuable support. Personally, I have suffered from migraines since childhood, and
while
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 medication provides
the
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core relief, neck massage has significantly reduced the severity of my symptoms. Though not a replacement for formal treatment, it is a helpful complement. In conclusion,
while
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alternative
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 medicine can
offer
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 benefits, it should be approached with caution. Individuals must consult licensed medical professionals before trying non-traditional therapies. A responsible combination of proven conventional care and safe, supportive alternatives may
offer
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 the best results for many patients.

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coherence and cohesion
The essay is well-structured, with clear paragraphs and logical flow. To improve, consider enhancing the transitions between some ideas to create an even smoother reading experience.
task achievement
Ensure that all points made are thoroughly developed and explained, with further details or examples that reinforce your arguments, especially in the areas discussing risks.
task achievement
The introduction presents a balanced view, setting the tone for the essay effectively.
task achievement
Your use of personal experience adds authenticity and relatability to your arguments, which is commendable.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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