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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think thia is a positive or a negative development?

In recent years, a growing number of patients have turned to
alternative
Use synonyms
 medicine rather than relying solely on conventional
treatment
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.
While
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 some argue that these
methods
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 offer holistic and natural healing, I believe
this
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 trend is a negative development
due to
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 the risks associated with unregulated treatments and the lack of scientific validation. One major concern is the potential for serious health complications when
alternative
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 remedies interfere with prescribed medications.
For example
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, patients undergoing
treatment
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 for chronic conditions
such
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 as diabetes or hypertension may unknowingly consume herbal products that react adversely with their medication, leading to toxic side effects or reduced efficacy. In countries like Cuba, it has been reported that elderly patients who rely on traditional herbal cures for diabetes later develop secondary conditions
such
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 as high blood pressure
due to
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 unregulated dosages and lack of professional monitoring. Another issue is the lack of proper supervision and quality control in the preparation of these remedies. In many regions, particularly rural areas,
alternative
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 medicines are produced without standardized processes or testing. In Senegal,
for instance
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, some children have been given traditional remedies to treat
anemia
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anaemia
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, only for doctors to discover later that prolonged use
increased
Wrong verb form
increases
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 their risk of developing sickle cell complications. These incidents highlight the dangers of administering substances whose ingredients and preparation
methods
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 are not scientifically verified.
While
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 certain practices like acupuncture have gained credibility when used alongside conventional medicine, they should not replace evidence-based
treatment
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. Acupuncture, particularly in China, is regulated and supported by clinical studies in the
treatment
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 of chronic pain and rehabilitation, but
this
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 does not apply to all
alternative
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 therapies. Without consistent scientific backing, these
methods
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 remain unreliable for treating serious medical conditions. In conclusion,
although
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 some
alternative
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 practices may have supportive roles in wellness, the
overall
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 trend of replacing formal
treatment
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 with unverified
methods
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 poses serious health risks.
For
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this
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 reason, individuals should always consult licensed medical professionals and use
alternative
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 therapies only as a supplement—not a substitute—for conventional care.

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task achievement
The thesis statement is clear, presenting your overall argument effectively. Maintain this clarity throughout the essay.
coherence and cohesion
Your paragraphs are generally well-structured with clear topic sentences. Ensure each paragraph maintains a central focus on the main idea presented in the topic sentence.
task achievement
While you provide relevant examples, consider adding more detail or explanation to strengthen your arguments further. This can enhance the reader's understanding of your points.
coherence and cohesion
Consider using linking phrases to improve flow between sentences and paragraphs, making it easier for the reader to follow your argument. Examples include 'Furthermore', 'In addition', and 'Conversely'.
overall quality
The essay presents a well-defined argument with strong reasoning and examples, effectively addressing the task.
coherence and cohesion
There is a good balance between the introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, contributing to a coherent structure throughout the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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