IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

It is important for people to take risks, in both their professional lives and personal lives. Do the advantages of taking these risks outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #risks #lives
Our lives depend on our choices. For some people, taking
risks
 is essential to their lives, but for others, they always avoid taking their own
risks
. From my point of view, taking
risks
 is necessary and plays an important role in our lives. On the one hand, taking
risks
 brings us a lot of benefits and experiences for life.
Firstly
, when we overcome the
risks
 that we have to face, we can learn from
this
 experience. Stepping out of our comfort zone and taking
risks
 will give us more courage and confidence in ourselves. Another advantage of taking
risks
 is that creating new opportunities leads to success. Elon Musk, the richest person on the planet, says, “Failure is an option here. If things are not failing, you are not innovating enough".
On the other hand
, taking
risks
also
 has some disadvantages, especially when we swing for the fence without having a strategic exit up our sleeve.
In other words
, taking
risks
 does not always lead to success. Obviously, risk means something unstable, and there is a probability of going out of control. There are unpredictable outcomes to the
risks
 we face that can make us frustrated and lose faith in ourselves.
For example
, we invest all our money in a project that we do not know if we can succeed and profit from or not. If we encounter failures
instead
 of the expectedly rewarding success after we invest a significant amount of time and money with great numbers of real efforts. In brief, facing
such
 instability is stressful and exhausting for those who are incapable of looking far enough ahead. In conclusion,
although
this
 issue has inherently brought about countless aspects that need to be verified in detail, I believe that its positivity of taking
risks
 remains dominant over negativity. Whether they fail or succeed in taking
risks
, they learn many lessons from them. Creating new opportunities is part of taking
risks
.
Submitted by jakelong16091994 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Ensure a clear thesis statement is provided that outlines the essay's stance on the question.
coherence cohesion
Work on clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to guide the reader.
coherence cohesion
Use a wider range of cohesive devices to link ideas more smoothly across the essay.
task achievement
Try to use specific examples to illustrate the advantages and disadvantages discussed, to support your points more effectively.
task achievement
Strive for balance in the discussion of advantages and disadvantages. While your essay suggests this, more in-depth examples of disadvantages would strengthen your argument.
task achievement
Be careful with the use of quotes. Ensure that they are accurate and cited correctly, if used to support arguments effectively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Opportunities
  • Growth
  • Innovation
  • Challenges
  • Self-discovery
  • Resilience
  • Uncertainty
  • Consequences
  • Calculated risks
  • Stagnation
  • Regret
  • Comfort zone
  • Entrepreneurship
  • Adventurous spirit
  • Thriving
  • Failure
  • Mitigate
  • Reap the rewards
What to do next:
Look at other essays: