It is important for people to take risks, in both their professional lives and personal lives. Do the advantages of taking these risks outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #risks #lives

Our lives depend on our choices. For some people, taking

risks

is essential to their lives, but for others, they always avoid taking their own

risks

. From my point of view, taking

risks

is necessary and plays an important role in our lives. On the one hand, taking

risks

brings us a lot of benefits and experiences for life.

Firstly

, when we overcome the

risks

that we have to face, we can learn from

this

experience. Stepping out of our comfort zone and taking

risks

will give us more courage and confidence in ourselves. Another advantage of taking

risks

is that creating new opportunities leads to success. Elon Musk, the richest person on the planet, says, “Failure is an option here. If things are not failing, you are not innovating enough".

On the other hand

, taking

risks

also

has some disadvantages, especially when we swing for the fence without having a strategic exit up our sleeve.

In other words

, taking

risks

does not always lead to success. Obviously, risk means something unstable, and there is a probability of going out of control. There are unpredictable outcomes to the

risks

we face that can make us frustrated and lose faith in ourselves.

For example

, we invest all our money in a project that we do not know if we can succeed and profit from or not. If we encounter failures

instead

of the expectedly rewarding success after we invest a significant amount of time and money with great numbers of real efforts. In brief, facing

such

instability is stressful and exhausting for those who are incapable of looking far enough ahead. In conclusion,

although

this

issue has inherently brought about countless aspects that need to be verified in detail, I believe that its positivity of taking

risks

remains dominant over negativity. Whether they fail or succeed in taking

risks

, they learn many lessons from them. Creating new opportunities is part of taking

risks

Submitted by jakelong16091994 on Fri Apr 07 2023

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Ensure a clear thesis statement is provided that outlines the essay's stance on the question.

coherence cohesion

Work on clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to guide the reader.

coherence cohesion

Use a wider range of cohesive devices to link ideas more smoothly across the essay.

task achievement

Try to use specific examples to illustrate the advantages and disadvantages discussed, to support your points more effectively.

task achievement

Strive for balance in the discussion of advantages and disadvantages. While your essay suggests this, more in-depth examples of disadvantages would strengthen your argument.

task achievement

Be careful with the use of quotes. Ensure that they are accurate and cited correctly, if used to support arguments effectively.

Fully explain your ideas

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

322 words

7.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Opportunities
Growth
Innovation
Challenges
Self-discovery
Resilience
Uncertainty
Consequences
Calculated risks
Stagnation
Regret
Comfort zone
Entrepreneurship
Adventurous spirit
Thriving
Failure
Mitigate
Reap the rewards

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It is important for people to take risks, in both their professional lives and personal lives. Do the advantages of taking these risks outweigh the disadvantages?

Fully explain your ideas

Studying with a group of students in a classroom is more beneficial than learning online at home. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The best way to teach children to cooperate is through team sports at school . To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Students today can easily access information online, so libraries are no longer neccessary. Do you agree or disagree?

Solar energy is becoming more and more popular as a source of household energy in many countries around the world. Why is this? What are the advantages and disadvantages of solar energy?

Some people think that entertainers such as film stars, pop musicians or sport starts are paid too much. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Which other type of job should be highly paid?