IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Many museums and historical sites are mainly visited by tourists and not local people. Why is this the case? What can be done to attract local people?

Many
museums
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 and historical
sites
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 are usually visited by
tourists
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 but not local
people
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 what can we do to attract the
locals
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.
Change the punctuation
?
show examples
First,
Linking Words
in my opinion, I think that
museums
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 and
historcal
Correct your spelling
historical
sites
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 companies want to attract
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
tourists
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 more than the local
people
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, because many
resones
Correct your spelling
reasons
,
for
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example
Add the comma(s)
example,
show examples
 the
travelrs peid
Correct your spelling
travellers spend
 money more than
locals
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,
although
Linking Words
 the
locals
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 will come to
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
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 places less than
tourists
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, the
locals
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are already
Change the verb form
already know
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know
Add the particle
know to
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abut
Correct your spelling
about
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thier
Correct your spelling
their
 history, they are born in the same
country
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 so they grow up in their history and
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culter
Change the word
more cult
show examples
. So, I think the
mein
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main
show examples
resone
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reason
 that the
locals
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 do not go to the
museums
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 and historical
sites
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, is
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
palces
Correct your spelling
places
 are
booring
Correct your spelling
looking
 to
thoes
Correct your spelling
those
 who know the
Use synonyms
culter
Change the word
more cult
show examples
 already, so I believe there is only one way to solve
this
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 problem,
although
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 it is
semple
Correct your spelling
simple
show examples
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
show examples
people
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 do not do it, that make
this
Linking Words
 places more funny and happy and do
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
 of new
activtes
Correct your spelling
activities
 that you can try and do, about their
country
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Use synonyms
culter
Change the word
more cult
show examples
 and I believe that the
locals
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 will go to
this
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 places more than the
tourists
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 and
people
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 will come not only to know about their
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culter
Change the word
more cult
show examples
 they will go
bacause
Correct your spelling
because
 the things you can do in the
museums
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 and historical
sites
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Add the comma(s)
, for example,
show examples
for example
Linking Words
 put a short Interactive movie about the
country
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 history
pepole
Correct your spelling
people
 prefer
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this things
Change the determiner
this thing
these things
show examples
 more than only typing the
informetions
Correct your spelling
information
 in the wall.
Overall
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 the
museums
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 and historical
sites
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are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
must
foucs
Correct your spelling
focus
 on
attract
Wrong verb form
attracting
show examples
 local
people
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 and
tourists
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 by doing new
crative
Correct your spelling
creative
 things about the
museums
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 and historical
sites
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 because in my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
show examples
 it is the most important part of the
country
Use synonyms
.

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task achievement
Ensure to clearly state your arguments and reasons to enhance clarity.
coherence and cohesion
Improve the organization of your ideas for better flow and connection between sentences and paragraphs.
language
Correct grammatical errors and spelling mistakes to improve overall readability.
task achievement
Include specific examples to support your points more effectively.
task achievement
You expressed a clear opinion on the topic, which is essential in task achievement.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • cultural heritage
  • tourist attractions
  • interactive exhibits
  • perception
  • civic pride
  • engagement
  • community outreach
  • curate
  • cultural institutions
  • historical significance
  • sustainable tourism
  • resident benefits
  • local patronage
  • preserve
  • educational initiatives
What to do next:
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