Give detail information about the crimes in the newspaper and on television has the bad consequences.Some suggest that govenment should impose some resptrictions.To what extent you agree or disagree.

Continuous exposure to violent crimes in the news can desensitize viewers, leading to increased acceptance of violence in society.
Therefore
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, some restrictions should be implemented by higher authorities. I agree with the notion, as I have some valid reasons to support my opinion.
First
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The first
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and foremost reason is that continuous coverage of crimes can create a sense of
fear
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and insecurity among the public, often referred to as 'mean world syndrome'.
This
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will lead to the ruin of kindness in society and will reflect a harsh nature.
Moreover
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, children and teenagers may be particularly affected by
the
Correct article usage
apply
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violent media
content
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, leading to aggressive behaviour and fearfulness
instead
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of awareness. To demonstrate
this
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point, research
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
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conducted by psychology staff in Japan found that 40% of the crimes are committed by young people, influenced by violent media
content
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.
Therefore
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, exposure to continuous violent news can have a negative impact on society. To mitigate these situations, some strict measures must be taken by the higher authorities.
This
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includes restrictions on crime reporting, which could lead to a more balanced portrayal of events, allowing for positive stories to be told and reducing
fear
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.
Although
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reporting crime gives a sense of awareness,
this
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type of
content
Use synonyms
should be restricted to children. By following these measures, the government can
consequently
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reduce the insecurity and
fear
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among people.
To conclude
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,
although
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coverage of violent
content
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in media gives a sense of awareness, continuous exposure can lead to
fear
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, insecurity and a mean world.
Therefore
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, higher authorities must take some measures to cope with
this
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situation,
for instance
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,
reduction of
Wrong verb form
reducing
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crime reporting and making
this
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content
Use synonyms
restricted for children.

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task achievement
Your essay presents a clear stance on the issue and reasons to support your argument. However, including more diverse examples or statistics could strengthen your argument and provide a broader perspective.
coherence and cohesion
Consider strengthening the connections between your ideas and paragraphs to enhance the flow. Using linking phrases can help reinforce the relationships between your points more effectively.
coherence and cohesion
You have a clear introduction that states your position on the issue, and you conclude your essay effectively by summarizing your main points.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Topic Vocabulary:
  • desensitize
  • mean world syndrome
  • overestimation
  • fearfulness
  • media literacy
  • aggressive behavior
  • panic
  • anxiety
  • restrictions
  • perpetrators
  • victims
  • coverage
  • societal norms
  • vulnerable populations
  • violent incidents
  • sensationalism
  • balance
  • portrayal
  • public perception
  • responsible journalism
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