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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Space exploration costs taxpayers an exorbitant amount of money each year. What are the advantages and disadvantage of spending money on space exploration?

Space
Use synonyms
exploration
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 requires an exorbitant amount of money from the citizens' tariffs.
This
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 essay will discuss both the advantages and disadvantages of financial funding in cosmonautics.
To begin
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, it is advantageous for cosmonautics to open a better life for humans.
Firstly
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, there is a growing consensus that Earth may become unsuitable for human habitation
due to
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 mineral scarcity and
climate
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 degradation.
Space
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exploration
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 offers the possibility of settling on other celestial bodies.
According to
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 scientific research, top-tier scientists believe that natural resources will be depleted gradually and the worsening of
climate
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 change in the world has correlated with the population explosion. These scientists expect to find alternative natural deposits or surplus chemical ores to sustain humankind's industry and promote the heyday of civilization.
For instance
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,
space
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 stations function as weather predictors, informing humans about any
climate
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 crisis that could form and allowing them to prepare to confront
this
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 event.
Secondly
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,
space
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exploration
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 progress has accumulated more useful knowledge for science and promoted industrial areas, including materials and
energy
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 sources. Numerous scientific advancements have emerged from the pursuit of
space
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exploration
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.
For instance
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, innovations in propulsion technology,
such
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 as efficient jet engines and
energy
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 sources, have practical applications beyond
space
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 missions.
For example
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, the critical requirements are producing an adequate power jet engine and generating a type of efficient
energy
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 to put shuttle
space
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 into the universe.
As a result
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, the technological leap in the jet engine industry has been applied to improve the gasoline cost-effectiveness of the commercial aeroplane industry.
However
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,
space
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exploration
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also
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 has drawbacks. The substantial costs associated with searching for habitable planets could be redirected to address pressing societal issues.
For example
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, taxpayers' money would be better spent on stifling
climate
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 change, including shifting to using infinite
energy
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 sources rather than burning many types of fossil fuel and promoting the use of electric vehicles.
Furthermore
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, urgent challenges like famine, poverty, and illiteracy directly impact living standards and deserve immediate attention.
Additionally
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, some argue that
space
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 programs serve military interests, potentially enhancing supersonic aircraft capabilities.
However
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, these same technologies could
also
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 be used for surveillance purposes.
Consequently
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, the deployment of espionage satellites could escalate tensions and contribute to a new arms race, posing risks to global security and stability.
To conclude
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, astronautics could help people settle on another planet, find useful natural ores, or discover some knowledgeable information.
However
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, there are still problems in terms of expensive fees and the risk of an arms race.

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clarity
Consider simplifying some complex sentences to enhance clarity. For example, you can split longer sentences into shorter ones. This helps in making your points clearer and easier to follow.
vocabulary
Be careful with vocabulary choice. While 'cosmonautics' is correct, 'astronautics' or simply 'space exploration' might be more commonly used and thus more readily understood.
relevance
Ensure all insights are directly connected to the main topic to avoid tangential ideas. For instance, discussions about espionage satellites might veer off the main subject slightly.
task response
The essay provides a well-rounded discussion of both the advantages and disadvantages of space exploration, demonstrating a clear understanding of the topic.
examples
The use of relevant specific examples, such as the impact of space-related technologies on daily life and industrial advancements, strengthens the argument.
structure
Logical structure and clear paragraphing make it easier for the reader to follow the main points. The introduction and conclusion are effectively presented.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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