in some countries, children are often told they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

In many countries,
children
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are raised with the belief that dedication and hard
work
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are essential to achieving
success
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in life.
While
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hard
work
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is undoubtedly important in pursuing
success
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,
this
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essay will explore both the advantages and disadvantages of conveying
this
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message to
children
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. One major advantage is that encouraging hard
work
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helps
children
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develop discipline and perseverance.
For instance
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, students preparing for important exams or athletes training for competitions often achieve better outcomes through consistent effort.
Moreover
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, since it is not easy for
children
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to manage their time to complete tasks at
first,
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teaching
children
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to
work
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hard from a young age can
also
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instill
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instil
show examples
a sense of responsibility and help them build effective time management skills.
However
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, there are
also
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drawbacks to
this
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belief. The stories of successful celebrities show that not all
success
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is guaranteed through hard
work
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alone—factors
such
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as talent, opportunity, and luck
also
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play significant roles. If
children
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are led to believe that effort alone determines
success
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, they may feel extreme pressure and frustration when their hard
work
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doesn’t produce the expected results.
This
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can lead to stress, burnout, or even a fear of failure. In some cases,
children
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may become discouraged and give up entirely when faced with setbacks. In conclusion,
while
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encouraging
children
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to
work
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hard can promote valuable habits and attitudes, it is equally important to help them understand that failure is part of life and that
success
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depends on various factors. A balanced approach that values effort but
also
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teaches resilience and self-acceptance is the most effective.

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task achievement
Your essay presents a well-structured argument with clear advantages and disadvantages of the topic. However, provide more specific examples or data to enhance your argument and make it even more convincing.
coherence and cohesion
Your ideas are well-connected, and transitions between paragraphs are smooth. Consider including a few linking phrases for even greater clarity in your writing.
task achievement
The essay effectively covers both sides of the argument and concludes with a balanced view, demonstrating critical thinking.
coherence and cohesion
The logical flow of ideas and clear paragraphing enhance the overall readability of the essay, making it easy to follow.

Your opinion

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • perseverance
  • work ethic
  • self-esteem
  • confidence
  • undue pressure
  • unrealistic goals
  • disappointment
  • contentment
  • teamwork
  • emotional intelligence
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