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Writing Samples
Band 6

Universities and colleges are now offering qualifications through distance learning from the Internet rather than teachers in the classroom. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages? 4.5

#universities #colleges #qualifications #distance #internet #teachers #classroom #development
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In recent years, qualifications issued by universities can be offered through online learning
instead
 of face-to-face teaching.
Although
students
 may have fewer social interactions during their studies, I believe that
this
 disadvantage can be outweighed by the fact that
students
 can have a wider choice of college programmes. There is no doubt that
students
 who learn on campus will interact with others more often than those who complete their studies through the Internet. One major aspect of college life for
students
 is
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
participation in social activities outside the classroom.
For example
, they can attend various events
such
 as movie nights or sports competitions with others.
Students
 who are studying through distance learning will miss out on these events as they require physical attendance.
Hence
, they have fewer social interactions with others, which can lower their interpersonal skills.
However
, the development of teaching in a virtual classroom can offer
students
 more choices when they select which university to study in. Back in the day,
students
 may have been restricted from enrolling in
oversea
Fix the agreement mistake
overseas
show examples
 colleges
due to
 the high travelling fees and accommodation problems.
As a result
, a lot of
students
 were forced to study in majors that they were not interested in, as their local university did not offer the courses they wanted.
But
Correct word choice
However
show examples
 with overseas colleges providing online programmes to global
students
 nowadays,
students
 can freely choose their field of studies in universities around the world without the heavy financial weight of expensive aeroplane tickets and rent. In conclusion, there may be fewer social interactions for online
students
,
the
Correct word choice
but the
show examples
 benefit of being able to enrol easily in universities not limited to their home town outweighs the cons of obtaining qualifications online.
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task achievement
Make sure to have a clearly-defined thesis statement that clearly outlines the advantages and disadvantages, and consistently address it throughout the essay.
task achievement
Develop your arguments further with concrete examples, data or quotes from authoritative sources to make your essay more compelling and to provide evidence for your claims.
coherence cohesion
Work on improving logical connectors and transitional phrases to guide the reader through the arguments and improve the essay's flow.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph starts with a clear topic sentence that indicates what the paragraph will discuss, enhancing the logical progression of ideas.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • unparalleled flexibility
  • democratizes education
  • geographically isolated
  • personal circumstances
  • cost-effectiveness
  • accommodation
  • commuting
  • self-motivated learning
  • self-discipline
  • time management
  • direct interaction
  • feelings of isolation
  • quality and recognition
  • inferior
  • technical issues
  • digital divide
  • reliable technology
  • underprivileged
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