Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this Discuss both views and give your own opinion
According to
some people, minors should learn how to act accordingly
in society from their parents. However
, many people also
think teachers are the ones responsible for teaching this
. In my opinion, children should get this
knowledge from both. This
essay will discuss these views in more detail below.
First of all, before a child starts to go to school
, they spend all their time together with
their parental figure. Which in turn makes their parents their first role models, therefore
fathers and mothers need to prepare their young ones from early. For instance
, fathers need to act respectfully and tender to mothers and other people, so their kids can understand the importance of treating others carefully. It is believed that children who frequently witness domestic violence inside the home tend to have disruptive behaviour and an inability to show their vulnerable side to others.
After that, when a child is starting to attend school
their social group is expanding and they are learning in the class with teachers from morning to noon. Therefore
, educators should be able to continue to show and teach their pupils how to be good models to prepare them embarking
life as adults. Wrong verb form
to embark on
For example
, teachers should treat all the students fairly, give them rewards when kids achieve perfect results, and not abuse their power to punish those in the wrong without proper reason. This
could teach young kids to compete healthily with others. This
is useful in the future when they are working as a young adult.
In conclusion, In my opinion, children can maximize their learning progress from parents or school
instructors both at home and school
on how to be a good person in society.Submitted by desyaf99 on
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coherence cohesion
To enhance logical structure, ensure smooth transitions between ideas using linking words and cohesive devices consistently throughout the essay.
coherence cohesion
Both the introduction and the conclusion are present but they could be strengthened by more clearly outlining the main points in the introduction and summarizing them concisely in the conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Support your main points with more detailed and varied examples. This adds depth to your arguments and demonstrates a range of language ability.
task achievement
For a higher task achievement score, ensure that the response fully addresses all parts of the prompt. Present a balanced discussion of both views and develop your own opinion throughout the essay, not just at the conclusion.
task achievement
To communicate ideas more comprehensively, work on developing each paragraph with a clear main idea and supporting it with thorough explanations and examples.
task achievement
Incorporate more specific and relevant examples to strengthen your arguments. These examples should clearly relate to the main points and help to illustrate your views effectively.