IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Many people think that the media should show more stories which report good news. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, the
media
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 can shape public opinion and inform us about the world. Some
people
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 hold the view that the
media
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 should focus more on positive
news
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.
While
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 I agree that positive
news
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 can have a good impact, a balance between positive and negative
news
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 is necessary to provide a comprehensive understanding of the world. On the one hand, positive
news
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 stories can have a significant impact on
people
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’s mental health and well-being. By highlighting acts of kindness, inspiring achievements, and heartwarming stories, the
media
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 can make
people
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 feel more optimistic and motivated.
Additionally
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, positive
news
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 can help to counteract the negative effects of constant exposure to crime, violence, and other negative events.
On the other hand
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, it is equally important for the
media
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 to report on negative
news
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 and social issues. By exposing corruption and other problems, the
media
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 can hold powerful
people
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 and organizations accountable, which can lead to positive change.
Furthermore
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, negative
news
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 can raise awareness of important issues and encourage
people
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 to take action.
For example
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, before storm season, the
news
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post
Fix the agreement mistake
posts
show examples
 about climate change can motivate
people
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 to adopt more sustainable practices.
Therefore
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, damages after natural disasters are greatly reduced. In conclusion,
while
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 positive
news
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 has its benefits, a balanced approach is essential. The
media
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 should report on both positive and negative
news
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 to provide a complete picture of the world and empower
people
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 to make informed decisions and contribute to positive change.

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Task Achievement
Your essay presents a clear argument and addresses the prompt effectively. However, try to explore more examples to enhance your main points. Slightly more depth in your reasoning would strengthen your argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your use of linking words and logical flow between ideas is commendable. Ensure that all points are fully elaborated to enhance clarity. Consider refining transitions between sentences for even smoother flow.
Structure
Your introduction outlines your position clearly, and your conclusion effectively summarizes your key points, providing a strong end to your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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