IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The internet is a modern invention that has many different views. Some people think it is a great addition to life while others think it creates problems. This essay will outline the advantages and disadvantages of the internet.

People
Use synonyms
 have different opinions about the use of
Use synonyms
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
 as a modern technology.
While
Linking Words
 some
people
Use synonyms
 believe that it brings some negative impacts,
others
Use synonyms
 opine that it has some merit for our lives.
While
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 both have valid points, I believe that the
internet
Use synonyms
 offers significant
strenghts
Correct your spelling
strengths
strength
 to our lives. From my perspective,
variety
Correct article usage
a variety
show examples
 of
people
Use synonyms
 believe that
Use synonyms
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
 nowadays is crucial.
Besides
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, a
lot
Add the preposition
lot of
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 in
recent
Change the word
recently
show examples
 using
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
modern technology to
being
Verb problem
make it
show examples
 easier for their
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
. To
illustrated
Change the form of the verb
illustrate
show examples
this
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
help
Change the verb form
helps
show examples
 many
community
Change to a plural noun
communities
show examples
 to
looking
Change the verb form
look
show examples
 for money by the
aplication
Correct your spelling
application
 on their phone
such
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 as being
youtubers
Correct your spelling
YouTubers
, selebgram or
others
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. Alongside, some
inhabitant
Fix the agreement mistake
inhabitants
show examples
 use the
internet
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to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 education
as
Correct word choice
and
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study
Fix the infinitive
to study
show examples
 what they want.
For instance
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,
Learn
Wrong verb form
Learning
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English
Correct article usage
the English
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 language and many
others
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.
That is
Linking Words
 why, the
internet
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it
Correct your spelling
is
show examples
 really helpful the humans
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
 doing daily activities in
this
Linking Words
 modern era.
Thus
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, to be honest
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
me
also
Linking Words
 using the
internet
Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 study English without
tutor
Correct article usage
a tutor
show examples
 because In my
view point
Correct your spelling
viewpoint
show examples
internet
Use synonyms
make
Change the verb form
makes
show examples
 me simple
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 searching what I want like
learn
Wrong verb form
learning
show examples
 a number of vocabullary, speaking with Artificial Intelligence particularly
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 prepare my
overall
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in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
IELTS sertificate. On the
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others
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
 hand, some
community
Fix the agreement mistake
communities
show examples
 argue the
internet
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 created
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
 as online gambling.
That is
Linking Words
 why, many persons in the
word
Correct your spelling
world
show examples
being
Wrong verb form
are
show examples
poperty
Correct your spelling
popular
Linking Words
due
Change preposition
because
show examples
 to
internet
Use synonyms
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
show examples
 them
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
open
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
bad
Use synonyms
site
Fix the agreement mistake
sites
show examples
 and
sometime
Fix the agreement mistake
sometimes
show examples
make
Verb problem
apply
show examples
a lot
Use synonyms
people
Change preposition
of people
show examples
 become a thief
becaue
Correct your spelling
because
 of online gambling.
Whatever
Correct word choice
However
show examples
, In recent years many young children using
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones
show examples
 and it kind
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
 open ugly
Use synonyms
site
Fix the agreement mistake
sites
show examples
.
For example
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,
like
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Correct your spelling
children
chidren
Add a comma
chidren,
show examples
 10 years old open the
pornografhy
Correct your spelling
pornography
site
Use synonyms
 and it is so dangerous for them
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
grow
Change the verb form
growing
show examples
 their
knowladge
Correct your spelling
knowledge
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 their future. In conclusion,
Use synonyms
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
 is essential for a
lot
Add the preposition
lot of
show examples
people
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
this
Linking Words
 planet because has a number of advantages.
Conversely
Linking Words
, for young children under 18 the parent must supervise their
son
Fix the agreement mistake
sons
show examples
 for using the gadget for
open
Add an article
the open
show examples
 bad
Use synonyms
site
Fix the agreement mistake
sites
show examples
 and
then
Linking Words
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Goverment
Correct your spelling
government
 should create
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 new regulation for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
humans using the
internet
Use synonyms
 to block online gambling.

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Task Achievement
Ensure your introduction clearly outlines the essay's structure. Clearly state the advantages and disadvantages you will discuss.
Coherence and Cohesion
Work on the coherence of your paragraphs. Each paragraph should focus on one main idea and have a clear topic sentence.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use more varied and accurate vocabulary to improve clarity. Some word choices were unclear or misspelled (e.g. 'strengths', 'illustrated').
Task Achievement
You have offered a balanced view by acknowledging both the advantages and disadvantages of the internet.
Task Achievement
Your examples demonstrate personal experience, which adds authenticity to your argument.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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