IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2

Successfai sports professionals can earn a great deal more money than people in other important professions. Some people think this is fully justified while others think it is unfair.Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

2.0 / 9
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Introduction
Now a day
Correct your spelling
Nowadays
show examples
, if you want to earn more money you should have more experience and
expert
Replace the word
expertise
show examples
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
special
Correct article usage
a special
show examples
 way. Some
individauls
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individuals
 think
successfai
Correct your spelling
successful
 sports
profestionals
Correct your spelling
professionals
 can earn money more than
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
 who are in other important professions. but some people think it is
unfiar
Correct your spelling
unfair
 for
their
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
. for
me
Add a comma
me,
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 I
stronge argree
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strongly agree
 with the first opinion by reason below.
Body paragraph 1
firstly
Linking Words
,
successfai
Correct your spelling
successful
 sports
professional
Fix the agreement mistake
professionals
show examples
 can do
bester
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better
 than
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
 because
behide
Correct your spelling
behind
 their
sucessful
Correct your spelling
success
 they was to work hard and
lern
Correct your spelling
learn
 more from
class
Correct article usage
the class
show examples
 or professor. For
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
example, Ronando
he
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
was successful in football and he is a model
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
the
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
 side, before
that
Add a comma
that,
show examples
 he
was practics
Verb problem
practised
show examples
 too hard and
do
Wrong verb form
did
show examples
 his job for
everyday
Replace the word
every day
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. So, it
make
Change the verb form
makes
show examples
 him
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
earn more
bineffit
Correct your spelling
benefit
benefits
 more
Linking Words
then
Correct your spelling
than
show examples
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
.
Body paragraph 2
Secound
Correct your spelling
Second
,
individauls
Correct your spelling
individuals
 who
had
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
successful
Replace the word
success
show examples
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
have special
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
charectoristics
Correct your spelling
characteristics
 that many general people don't have and can not duplicate for that
charectors
Correct your spelling
character
.
Conclusion
however
Linking Words
, if you want to earn
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
 of money I think you should
practist
Correct your spelling
practise
practice
 too hard and learn the good things for
successfull
Correct your spelling
successful
 persons than do the best
on
Change preposition
for
show examples
 your business.

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coherence and cohesion
Ensure that your essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. The introduction should outline your position and the main points you will discuss. A conclusion should summarize your arguments and reiterate your opinion.
task achievement
Work on the development of your main points to ensure they are supported by specific examples and explanations. Avoid vague statements and develop your points clearly to enhance the essay’s impact.
grammar and vocabulary
Pay attention to spelling and grammar. Small inaccuracies can distract from your message, so proofreading your work before submission would be beneficial.
task achievement
You have expressed a clear opinion on the topic, showing your stance on the issue.
task achievement
Some of your ideas regarding hard work in sports are relevant and show your understanding of why sports professionals can earn more money than others.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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