IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

in a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. others believe that money should be spent on improving existing public transport. discuss both these views and give your opinion.

It is considered by some
people
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 that a huge amount of
money
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 should be spent on building new railway
routes
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 for subway or metro trains in different countries.
However
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, some
people
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 believe that
instead
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 of spending
money
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 on introducing new railway lines
government
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 should improve the infrastructure of current ones. I believe that authorities should improve the condition of existing public transport. On the one hand, there are
people
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 who insist on constructing new railway
routes
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 for fast trains as they are fast and convenient. Building flexible
routes
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 will not only ease the commuters but will be
also
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 beneficial to reduce the traffic on roads. To cite an example Japan is an appropriate example of a reliable transportation system.
Along with
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this
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, other countries
such
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 as Canada, and America are
also
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a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
perfect
example
Fix the agreement mistake
examples
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. To demonstrate it
further
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, in Canada there are subways that run underground in
this
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 way they do not bother other automobiles on the roads.
On the other hand
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 , some
people
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 believe rather than investing large amounts of
money
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 in constructing new
routes
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government
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 should improve the existing public transport so that
people
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 will be more likely to commute in buses and trains
instead
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 of using their own private modes of transportation.
Moreover
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, the
government
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 should look after the required maintenance of public transport so that
people
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 do not have to face challenges
such
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 as waiting longer hours or getting late for their work. In conclusion, I believe that
government
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 should spend the grants wisely. If the infrastructure of current public transportation can be improved
then
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 there is no need to disburse large sums of
money
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 in
this
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 sector because these grants can be used in other sectors too.

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task achievement
Work on providing a clearer thesis statement in the introduction. Make sure it's prominent and reflects your opinion unambiguously.
task achievement
Ensure that your main points in both paragraphs are fully supported with detailed examples and explanations.
coherence and cohesion
Use a wider range of cohesive devices to connect your ideas and enhance flow between sentences.
coherence and cohesion
Be cautious of rigid phrasing and grammatical inconsistencies, as they can hinder clarity.
task achievement
Your essay addresses both views effectively and presents a clear opinion, which is important for task achievement.
task achievement
You have provided some relevant examples; mentioning countries like Japan and Canada adds credibility to your arguments.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • infrastructure
  • efficient
  • congestion
  • sustainable
  • environmentally friendly
  • connectivity
  • economic growth
  • public transportation
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