Some people think young people should be free to choose his or her job, but other people think they should be realistic and think more about their future. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Nowadays, choosing professions is of paramount importance.
While
some individuals propose that young people should be realistic about their future in selecting a job
, I believe that they should decide freely what career is the best for them.
Having prospects for the future can have positive effects on adolescents' jobs. Some people indicate that teenagers should choose a job
based on society's needs as they are more likely to be successful in their careers. In other words
, there will be more job
opportunities for them if they think realistically. But we do not forget that job
satisfaction has played a vital role in being accomplished. As a result
, they probably would not have a sense of contentment.
Having a job
associated with the interests is essential for everybody. Some justifiably argue that if youngsters choose their careers so as to what they like, it is likely to prove effective in their lives. In this
regard, from a psychological point of view, young ones can devote a sizeable amount of effort to their jobs since they enjoy doing it. For instance
, they would work as hard as they can and, in return, possibly they can get a promotion and climb the career ladder in a short time. In addition
, they would be delighted in their lives, and in fact, it has significant effects in
many aspects of their lives indirectly.
Change preposition
on
To sum up
, although
choosing a career according to
real-life
might have some merits, I personally believe that if young people have a right to select a Correct your spelling
real life
job
freely, they are likely to be expertise
and successful and indeed it may yield the desired results.Replace the word
expert
Submitted by armaghan.khosravi on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
grammar
There are some minor grammatical errors and awkward phrases (e.g., 'they are likely to be expertise') that slightly impact the readability of the essay. Consider revising these to enhance clarity.
vocabulary
While your argument is well-organized, the essay could benefit from more varied vocabulary and complex sentence structures to demonstrate a higher level of English proficiency.
examples
To achieve a higher score, provide more specific examples and elaborate on the points made to add depth and complexity to your arguments.
structure
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing the debate.
content
You have provided balanced viewpoints on both sides of the argument, demonstrating an understanding of the topic.
clarity
Your ideas are clearly presented and easy to follow, making the essay reader-friendly.