IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people think young people should be free to choose his or her job, but other people think they should be realistic and think more about their future. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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Nowadays, choosing professions is of paramount importance.
While
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 some individuals propose that young people should be realistic about their future in selecting a
job
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, I believe that they should decide freely what career is the best for them. Having prospects for the future can have positive effects on adolescents' jobs. Some people indicate that teenagers should choose a
job
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 based on society's needs as they are more likely to be successful in their careers.
In other words
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, there will be more
job
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 opportunities for them if they think realistically. But we do not forget that
job
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 satisfaction has played a vital role in being accomplished.
As a result
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, they probably would not have a sense of contentment. Having a
job
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 associated with the interests is essential for everybody. Some justifiably argue that if youngsters choose their careers so as to what they like, it is likely to prove effective in their lives. In
this
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 regard, from a psychological point of view, young ones can devote a sizeable amount of effort to their jobs since they enjoy doing it.
For instance
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, they would work as hard as they can and, in return, possibly they can get a promotion and climb the career ladder in a short time.
In addition
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, they would be delighted in their lives, and in fact, it has significant effects
in
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on
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 many aspects of their lives indirectly.
To sum up
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,
although
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 choosing a career
according to
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real-life
Correct your spelling
real life
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 might have some merits, I personally believe that if young people have a right to select a
job
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 freely, they are likely to be
expertise
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expert
show examples
 and successful and indeed it may yield the desired results.

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grammar
There are some minor grammatical errors and awkward phrases (e.g., 'they are likely to be expertise') that slightly impact the readability of the essay. Consider revising these to enhance clarity.
vocabulary
While your argument is well-organized, the essay could benefit from more varied vocabulary and complex sentence structures to demonstrate a higher level of English proficiency.
examples
To achieve a higher score, provide more specific examples and elaborate on the points made to add depth and complexity to your arguments.
structure
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing the debate.
content
You have provided balanced viewpoints on both sides of the argument, demonstrating an understanding of the topic.
clarity
Your ideas are clearly presented and easy to follow, making the essay reader-friendly.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • career trajectory
  • job satisfaction
  • employment prospects
  • financial stability
  • job security
  • economically viable
  • harnessing potential
  • labor market
  • vocational guidance
  • real-world demands
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