Some believe that research on family hisotry is a useful thing to do, while others disagree. Discuss both sides and five your own opinion.

It is argued that studying one's family record is worthwhile

while

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others say it is not.

While

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it might seem to be useless to know about their ancestors'

history

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, I strongly believe that learning about their family background will make people’s lives healthier. On the one hand, nowadays, most societies do not think that knowing their ancestors is not necessary. Not only is searching for the right family

history

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difficult

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

but

also

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the information can be manipulated at some point.

Furthermore

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, even though they might get the right data, people do not have enough time to obtain information about their family

history

Use synonyms

For example

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, provided statistics by Yeonsei University show that people do not have enough time and technology to learn about their family

history

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Remove the comma

apply

show examples

because they are focused on their livelihoods.

On the other hand

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, genetics play a fundamental role in shaping human health.

Therefore

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, it is crucial to know their exact family

history

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. If humans are willing to learn about their family

history

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then

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they can know more specifically about their bodies.

Moreover

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, people can live more healthier.

For instance

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according to

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a study conducted by Seoul National University Hospital, 85% of diseases are from genetic factors.

This

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means that if you are aware of your risk factors

then

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you can prevent numerous diseases. In conclusion, though more and more public think that it is not important to research family

history

Use synonyms

, I think that having knowledge about their ancestors is key for descendants to lead a happier and healthier life.

2505sh

May 21, 2025

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coherence and cohesion

Make sure to clearly structure each paragraph with a clear main idea. Your supporting points need to be distinctly connected to your main argument.

task achievement

Ensure that all your examples directly support the main points you are trying to make for clarity.

task achievement

Consider adding more specific examples or real-life applications to strengthen your arguments. This could help in illustrating your points more effectively.

content

Your introduction clearly presents both sides of the argument, which is a good way to set up your essay.

content

You effectively highlight the importance of genetic factors related to health, which is a strong point in your argument.

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

252 words

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In the future, nobody will buy newspapers or books because they will be able to read everything they want online without paying. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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