IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Many people believe that saving money for the future is important for everyone, especially for young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Introduction
Many
people
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 believe that putting
money
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 aside for the
future
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 is important for everyone, especially for the younger generation. I largely agree with
this
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 view because regular saving can help
people
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 achieve important
life
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goals
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 and build financial stability.
However
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, I believe that saving should be balanced with spending on personal growth and a fulfilling
life
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.
Body paragraph 1
Firstly
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, saving
money
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 helps young
people
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 prepare for important
future
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 plans. Many major
goals
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 require considerable financial resources and cannot be achieved immediately.
For example
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, a young worker can save part of each salary to pay for a professional course or to make a down payment on a first home. After completing additional training,
this
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 person may qualify for a higher-paying job and improve their financial situation.
Similarly
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, regular savings can help young
people
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 gradually build enough capital to start a small business.
Therefore
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, developing the habit of saving from an early age can provide greater financial security and help
people
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 achieve their long-term
goals
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.
Body paragraph 2
However
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, focusing too much on saving can
also
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 have negative consequences. Saving itself does not prevent personal growth; rather, excessive saving may cause
people
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 to avoid spending
money
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 on useful experiences and development.
For instance
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, if a young person saves almost all of their income, they may not have enough
money
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 for professional courses, travel or activities that improve their skills and quality of
life
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.
As a result
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, they may save a large amount of
money
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 but miss valuable opportunities for personal development.
Therefore
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,
people
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 should maintain a reasonable balance between saving for the
future
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 and using some of their income for personal growth and enjoyment.
Conclusion
Overall
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, saving
money
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 is an important habit, particularly for young
people
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, because it provides financial security and helps them achieve major
future
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goals
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.
Nevertheless
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, saving should not become an excessive priority, and
people
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 should
also
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 spend some of their
money
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 on useful development and a good quality of
life
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.

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task response
Make your first main point a little more full by adding one clear example with a real amount or time plan. For example, explain how saving a small part of pay each month can lead to a course or home payment after a few years.
task response
Your second main point is good, but make the link to the question even clearer. Say that spending on skills is also a kind of future saving, because it can help a young person earn more later.
task response
Avoid ideas that are very close in meaning. “Personal growth”, “development”, and “skills” appear many times. Use one idea, explain it well, then move on.
coherence and cohesion
The move from the first body paragraph to the second is clear, but you can make it smoother. Start the second paragraph with a short link, such as: “Even so, saving every possible amount is not always the best choice.”
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences are long and carry more than one idea. Break them into two shorter sentences when you explain a cause and result. This will make the meaning easier to follow.
coherence and cohesion
In the ending, repeat your main view in fewer words. Then give one final clear message: save often, but keep enough money for useful learning and life needs.
task response
Your view is clear from the start: you agree, but you also show why saving needs a fair limit. You answer all parts of the question and keep your ideas on the topic.
task response
The examples are useful and easy to understand. Saving for a course, a home, or a small business clearly shows how young people can use money for later plans.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear shape: an opening, one main point for saving, one main point about not saving too much, and a short ending. Each paragraph has one main idea.
coherence and cohesion
Linking words such as “Firstly”, “For example”, “Similarly”, “However”, “As a result”, and “Therefore” help the reader follow your ideas.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial security
  • safety net
  • unforeseen circumstances
  • emergencies
  • future investments
  • retirement planning
  • financial discipline
  • habit of saving
  • amassing wealth
  • substantial fund
  • opportunity cost
  • additional income
  • inflation
  • purchasing power
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