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Writing Samples
Band 6

Modern technology,such as personal computers and the internet, have made it possible for many people to do their work from home atleast part of the time instead of going to an office everyday. What are some advantages and disadvantages of this situation?

Nowadays, modern technology allows
people
Use synonyms
 to work from home, just having a laptop and internet connection is enough to do their job some days avoiding going to the office every day. Indeed,
this
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 trend has a paramount impact on
people
Use synonyms
’s behaviours, during
this
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 essay the advantages and disadvantages are going to be exposed.
Firstly
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, a major advantage will be the flexibility it provides
due to
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 many personal duties that could be managed easily.
For instance
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, everyone in some moment needs to do banking errands and at least in Colombia, it takes a lot of
time
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,
as a result
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 of having
this
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 job “benefit”
people
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 may manage their
time
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 and finish these duties without complaints.
In addition
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, another benefit of remote work is saving
time
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 in commuting to their workplace.
For example
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, because of the heavy traffic
people
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 usually spend more than one hour getting to the office.
Secondly
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, the cons of
this
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 are the less social interaction and isolation feeling that many
people
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 have expressed since the remote work modality is more frequent now,
such
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 as, during the pandemic
that
Correct word choice
when
show examples
people
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 used to have a job but no partners because they did not know anyone to get
along with
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 and
as a result
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 they did not have sense of belonging to the company.
Furthermore
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, many
people
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 have mentioned that they feel as if the working day has never finished and
as a
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result
Add a comma
result,
show examples
this
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 ends in mental illnesses e.g. ADHD, anxiety and depression.
To conclude
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, in my personal opinion having a mixed schedule is one of the best options because you can not only share
time
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 with your colleagues, have an excuse to dress nicely but
also
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 have
time
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 to sleep a little bit more, share with your pets and relatives

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coherence and cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and supports it with more examples or details.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to introduce your ideas in a more organized way so that the reader can follow your argument clearly.
task achievement
Try to develop your conclusion to sum up your main points more clearly.
task achievement
The essay addresses both advantages and disadvantages clearly, which is a good structure.
task achievement
There are relevant examples given to support your points about working from home.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • advantage
  • disadvantage
  • flexibility
  • productivity
  • savings
  • time
  • money
  • commuting
  • balance
  • isolation
  • social
  • distraction
  • environment
  • concentrate
  • job
  • role
  • presence
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