IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Countries should try to produce all the food for the population and import as little food as possible. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Different nations need to show preference in yielding all kinds of foods for the society and try to acquire less and less from distinct economies.I agree with the given notion as it benefits in multiple ways like overcoming unsudden situations, generating employment opportunities and many others which will be discussed in the subsequent paragraphs. There are a number of benefits to a country which is producing all types of
food
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.First and foremost is independence during uncertainties.The emergency situations like wars between two countries will automatically affect their trading business.In
this
Linking Words
 scenario, a particular nation need not depend on other nations for some
food
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 items.
Unfornutaly
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Unfortunately
,
public
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the public
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 will suffer from
shortage
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a shortage
the shortage
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 of specific
food
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.To cite an example, In 2021, there were some rivals between the USA and India.India is the main exporter of rice, and after that fight, they put limitations on the USA in buying rice.
Moreover
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,buying goods and services from distinct countries is quite expensive , especially for people who belong to lower-middle-class families and are below the poverty line.Imports involve a lot of taxes and extra payments to pass from the border, which makes it unaffordable for certain people.
In addition
Linking Words
 to
this
Linking Words
, generating
food
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 in your own country will create a number of job opportunities.People become able to earn bread and butter for their families.
Hence
Linking Words
, avail better medical and educational facilities for their loved ones.
Moreover
Linking Words
, it will
also
Linking Words
 generate income in the economy by opening mills for producing
food
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 which is everyone's necessity.With the help of that, the government can allocate funds to areas which need more attention.To cite an example, In 2021,
Korea Authorities
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Korean authorities
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 spent 20% extra money on the roads and transportation as compared to past years which was earned through the economy by transforming the import system. In conclusion,the government should always take initiatives for the economy and the general public.Producing all kinds of
food
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 does not solely benefit the authorities but
also
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 creates better job opportunities for the public and makes their survival easy and affordable.

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task achievement
You provided a clear opinion, but some points could be better developed. Make sure each point is explained well with clear details.
coherence
Use smoother transitions between ideas and paragraphs. This helps the reader follow your argument more easily.
task achievement
Your introduction clearly states your opinion. This is good for setting the tone of the essay.
task achievement
You provided some relevant examples to support your points. This strengthens your argument.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • self-sufficiency
  • trade dependency
  • food security
  • sustainable agriculture
  • local economies
  • carbon footprint
  • supply chain
  • food miles
  • agricultural sector
  • domestic production
  • import substitution
  • food sovereignty
  • global supply chains
  • trade imbalances
  • food standards
  • economic resilience
  • biodiversity
  • cultural heritage
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