Some people think that children should be taught to be competitive in school. Others, however, say that cooperation and teamwork skills are more important. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Education plays a vital role in shaping the younger generation. Some people argue that
children
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should be taught to be competitive,
while
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others believe that cooperation and teamwork are more valuable. In my opinion, encouraging collaboration is more important, as it promotes healthy social development and prepares
children
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for real-world situations. On the one hand, teaching
children
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to be competitive can help them become more independent and self-motivated. When students strive to outperform their peers, they may work harder and develop strong problem-solving skills.
This
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competitive spirit can be beneficial later in life, especially in careers where high performance is expected.
However
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, excessive focus on competition at a young age can create pressure, increase anxiety, and lead to isolation if
children
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feel they must always be better than others.
On the other hand
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, cooperation fosters important interpersonal skills. In school, group activities, discussions, and projects help students learn how to communicate, share responsibilities, and support one another. These skills are essential in almost every aspect of adult life, from working in teams at the workplace to maintaining personal relationships.
For example
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, businesses today value employees who can collaborate effectively and contribute to a team’s success.
Therefore
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, learning to cooperate from a young age is crucial. In conclusion,
while
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competition can motivate
children
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to excel, I believe that cooperation should be the main focus of education. It builds emotional intelligence, strengthens relationships, and prepares students for a society that increasingly values teamwork.

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positive
Your introduction clearly states the topic and your opinion. Keep this strong start for future essays!
improvement
Make sure each paragraph has a clear main point. Adding more clear examples can help support your ideas better.
improvement
Try to balance both sides a bit more. You have good points for cooperation, but you could add a bit more detail about competition.
positive
The conclusion nicely summarizes your opinion and the main points discussed in the essay.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite
Topic Vocabulary:
  • competitiveness
  • teamwork
  • collaboration
  • motivation
  • empathy
  • interpersonal skills
  • community
  • holistic development
  • successful outcomes
  • strive
  • achievements
  • proponents
  • conflicts
  • balance
  • personal development
  • professional success
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