In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. what are the advantage and disadvantage of giving children this message.

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In certain cultures, some children are taught that they can pursue anything if they

work

Use synonyms

hard. The main advantage of

this

Linking Words

perspective is that they stay motivated and achieve their

goals

Use synonyms

, but the main drawback is that they may become depressed if they fail to reach their

goals

Use synonyms

. On the one hand, there is no doubt that hard

work

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is the key to success. There are many benefits to

this

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mindset.

Firstly

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, students always stay motivated and confident. If students compete with their friends, they stay always motivated and prepare well for their exams,

consequently

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achieving good marks.

Secondly

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this

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principle applies not only to academics but

also

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to sports.

For example

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, in many countries, like Africa and India, parents often motivate their children to believe in themselves and strive to achieve their

goals

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However

Linking Words

, there are some dark sides that cannot be denied.

On the other hand

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, the main drawback is depression or anxiety. If students do not get good results

instead

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of hard

work

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Moreover

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, sometimes, parents may put high pressure on offspring to push forward specific

goals

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. Regarding

this

Linking Words

stress, they may encounter numerous mental issues like depression and tension.

Moreover

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, elders might inject fake hope into the young's minds when their

goals

Use synonyms

are not practically achievable.

For example

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, many parents force their girls to become engineers in Iran and encourage them to try as much as possible.

While

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most of the graduated girls with an engineering degree are not employed. In conclusion, hard

work

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helps people stay motivated and succeed, but too much pressure may be

cause

Add an article

the cause

a cause

show examples

of depression or anxiety. It's important to support children

while

Linking Words

giving them the freedom to choose their own path so they can grow with confidence and reach their full potential.

atifanagori1903Thu Mar 06 2025

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What works well

coherence cohesion

Your essay presents a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. This organization helps the reader follow your argument easily.

task achievement

You've included relevant examples that illustrate your points, such as the illustrations about students in different countries which add real-world context to your argument.

Improvement Suggestions

task achievement

Consider expanding on the advantages and disadvantages to provide more depth in your response. For instance, you could discuss additional positive aspects of a growth mindset like resilience or the ability to adapt to failure. Likewise, consider mentioning more specific examples of the negative impacts of unrealistic expectations.

coherence cohesion

Work on clearer transitions between your ideas to enhance the logical flow of your essay. For example, use phrases like 'Furthermore' or 'In addition' when introducing related points, and 'Conversely' or 'On the contrary' when presenting opposing viewpoints.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

291 words

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In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. what are the advantage and disadvantage of giving children this message.

What works well

Improvement Suggestions

Stress is now a major problem in many countries around the world. What are some of the factors in modern society that cause this stress, and how can we reduce it? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

If your friend needs to interact with a large number of people and is infected with Covid 19. What would you send to your friend with Covid 19?

Many working people get little or no exercise either during the working day or in their free time, and have health problems as a result. Why do many working people not get enough exercise? What can be done about this problem?

When it comes to workplaces, we normally think we have to go there to work. A lot of us commute to work every day. However, there are some people who work remotely at their homes or away from their offices. What do you think is the reason why some companies permit their employees to work this way?