Some people think that parents have an powerful influence in child's life, while the influence from outside the home plays a bigger part of child's development. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some argue that external environmental factors exert a greater influence on a child’s development than parental guidance.
However
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, I firmly disagree with
this
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view and they both play a crucial role in a child's growth. It is undeniable that parents serve as primary role models and teachers, directly influencing a child’s cognitive and emotional development. During early childhood,
children
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unconsciously imitate their parents’ speech, habits, and problem-solving approaches.
In other words
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, parental interaction provides irreplaceable foundational learning. Meanwhile, assistance and care from parents could support
children
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to build self-confidence and a positive attitude towards life.
This
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is because parental emotional support and educational methods strongly affect
children
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's mental health and self-esteem.
However
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, impacts from the external environment should not be overlooked. External environment, including schools, peers, and
society
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. These factors
also
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play an important role in a child's growth.
For instance
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, teachers in school teach students practical skills and professional knowledge to promote students to integrate into
society
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as a whole
while
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improving their adaptation to social life.
Moreover
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, communicating with peers enhances cognition and cultivates a sense of collaboration.
Additionally
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, revolutions
of
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in
show examples
society
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,
such
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as technological innovation and cultural succession,
bring
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have
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significant influences
to
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on
show examples
children
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.
For instance
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, modern fast-paced lifestyles and digital explosions have a prolonged impact on
children
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's thinking patterns and
behavior
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behaviour
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modes. In my opinion, parents and external environments have a mutual impact, since they are not isolated but they interact and influence a child's comprehensive development. From my observation, when
children
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are struggling with academic challenges and peer pressure, parental guidance and advice greatly reduce their burdens. In conclusion, parenting styles and the external environment jointly shape
children
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's personalities and values.
Therefore
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, both families and
society
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should pay attention to
children
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's growth together.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea or topic sentence. This helps guide the reader and strengthens your argument.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your points, especially regarding external influences. This strengthens your arguments.
coherence and cohesion
Try to vary your sentence structure and use simple transitions to improve the flow of your ideas.
task achievement
You clearly present your opinion and maintain it throughout the essay.
coherence and cohesion
Your writing has a good introduction and conclusion, effectively framing your ideas.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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