Some people think young people should be free to choose their job, while others believe that they should be realistic and think about their future. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
It has always been a heated topic when it comes to selecting an ideal occupation for the
future
. Use synonyms
While
some argue that young individuals should think carefully contemplate and consider their Linking Words
future
Use synonyms
career
pathway, others hold a shared opinion that they should have the freedom of choice when making Use synonyms
career
decisions. From my perspective, both views should not be overlooked, which will be discussed in the following.
First and foremost it is obvious that choosing a Use synonyms
career
with great practicalities and potential in the Use synonyms
future
is of great benefit to all. Use synonyms
This
is simply because people need well-paid work in order to fulfil their basic individual living needs, including housing, eating and more. Linking Words
In other words
, making rational choices in job selection contributes to the Linking Words
overall
well-being of oneself. Linking Words
Therefore
, it is vital to consider various real-world factors of the occupation to ensure our health and happiness of ourselves.
Linking Words
However
, Linking Words
this
is not to say that individuals should be aborted from the freedom of choosing their desired jobs. There is evidence Linking Words
showcases
that people do not have the same level of passion and enthusiasm when they are in an industry that they dislike. Wrong verb form
showcasing
Accordingly
, Linking Words
this
significantly reduces the amount of work output. Linking Words
This
, Linking Words
as a result
, not only has a negative impact on the workplace's Linking Words
overall
performance but Linking Words
also
wastes the financial and human resources which could have been better invested Linking Words
elsewhere
. An example of Linking Words
this
is that if Mozart had not Linking Words
allowed
to pursue his music dream, we would have not been able to enjoy the delightful pieces of music he conducted.
Synthesised from the two viewpoints, my personal opinion is to have a balanced approach when deciding our life-long Add a missing verb
been allowed
career
pathway. Use synonyms
Firstly
, it is vital to consider whether the job is able to cater for our basic well-being needs. Linking Words
This
aligns with Maslow's hierarchy of needs theory. Linking Words
Secondly
, we should Linking Words
also
make full use of our jobs to pursue our personal dreams, maximising our various skill sets. Linking Words
This
creates opportunities to invent more innovations or artistic creations, which is beneficial to society in return.
To summarise, it is essential to address both perspectives when choosing our jobs for our Linking Words
future
. We should not overlook one perspective over the other, as basic human needs are demanded to be fulfilled and the freedom to pursue passion should not be restricted. Only when both requirements are met, can we grow happily as 21st century citizens.Use synonyms
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task achievement
Although your essay does cover both sides of the argument, try to provide more specific examples or evidence to strengthen your points further.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that your ideas are clearly separated into distinct paragraphs to enhance readability and flow.
coherence cohesion
Consider linking your paragraphs with smoother transitions to improve flow.
introduction conclusion present
Your essay has a clear introduction that outlines the topic and your opinion, and a conclusion that effectively summarises the discussion and your viewpoint.
task achievement
You have successfully discussed both sides of the argument, demonstrating a balanced understanding of the issue.
coherence cohesion
The essay generally follows a logical structure, which aids in conveying your message effectively.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example