IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Some people think that children should be taught to be competitive in school. Others, however, say that cooperation and teamwork skills are more important. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

There is no doubt
in
Change preposition
that
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these
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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nowadays the competition between the pupils improving their talents skills.
While
Linking Words
others
Correct quantifier usage
other
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 people believe that
the
Correct article usage
apply
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cooperation and group work
have
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has
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 a positive
effective
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effect
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.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss both views. On the first hand
Add a comma
,
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there
is
Change the verb form
are
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 various types of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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competitive
Replace the word
competition
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in
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apply
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these days .the competition
build
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builds
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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confidence in
the
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apply
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hisself
Correct your spelling
himself
.
instance
Add an article
an instance
the instance
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 when the
childrens
Correct your spelling
children
show examples
have competitive in school around the classroom the students will strive in school between pupils.
moreover
Linking Words
 the competitors will get a better education when they hard work in
the
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apply
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any skills.
in
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addition
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addition,
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 the parents have a positive impact
for
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on
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theirs
Correct the word
their
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 children. When
the
Correct your spelling
they
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 encourage the child in any competitive environment.
finally
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 the personal competitive
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
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 the person proud of his self when he
achieve
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achieves
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 the goals..in other important points.
The when
Correct article usage
When
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 the person independent of his self will
improving
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improve
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the
Change the word
his
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 skills and
his
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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knowledge.
However
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 the arguments between the views
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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will compartmentalisation
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the views.the main reason is that
the
Correct article usage
apply
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teamwork will be useful to both sides. Cooperation between the pupils will
developed
Change the verb form
develop
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 the ability to
communication
Replace the word
communicate
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between
Change preposition
with
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 the students in the future.
Linking Words
therefore
Capitalize word
Therefore
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 it depends on their teachers in school
learning
Verb problem
to teach
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 them how to communicate effectively.
working
Capitalize word
Working
show examples
with
Change preposition
in
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 groups will improve
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
communication with people in future or when they work. In
conclusion
Add a comma
conclusion,
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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working with groups will help you to understand how can communicate better in the future.
in
Capitalize word
In
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 my perspective
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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I agree with cooperation with others to develop my knowledge and
sharing
Replace the word
share
show examples
 solutions

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Task Achievement
Make sure to clearly express your main ideas and support them with examples.
Coherence and Cohesion
Work on structuring your paragraphs better. Each paragraph should have one main idea.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use simple sentences to express your ideas more clearly.
Task Achievement
You presented both sides of the argument, which is good for discussion.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your introduction states the main topic clearly.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • competitiveness
  • teamwork
  • collaboration
  • motivation
  • empathy
  • interpersonal skills
  • community
  • holistic development
  • successful outcomes
  • strive
  • achievements
  • proponents
  • conflicts
  • balance
  • personal development
  • professional success
What to do next:
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