Some think spending a lot on birthday celebrations and weddings is a waste of money. Others think it is important for young people and society. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

There are competing views on whether spending
money
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on festivals is the right thing to do .
Although
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some see it as a waste of
money
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,I still think that the memories we make are worth it because we keep
traditions
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in our community .
People
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who resist
this
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and see it as worthless are missing a lot in life . Humans work to get paid ,and
then
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they use their salary to do what makes them happy .If celebrating
birthdays
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and
weddings
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was not on their list
then
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what is? Take ,
for example
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, the elderly
people
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who were asked what their biggest regrets on the BBC interview, their answers mostly are that they regret missing a lot in their lives
such
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as , not celebrating like they should have.
However
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,I do think that spending
money
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on one-time events is not worthless at all. In fact , research at Cambridge University about
money
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psychology shows that
people
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who save their
money
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tend to spend it on unnecessary goods most of the time . Others,
on the other hand
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, argue that it is good to spend cash on celebrating
weddings
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and
birthdays
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because it contributes to keeping
traditions
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in the community .
Birthdays
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happen once in a lifetime
also
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sometimes
weddings
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, it is the time when family and friends gather under one roof .Where they get to talk and make memories which will
also
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lead to keeping the
traditions
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last
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for generations yet to come . I agree with
this
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argument because ,If
people
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stopped
weddings
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and
birthdays
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,they would lose not only the chance for lifetime memories but
also
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their inherited
traditions
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. In conclusion ,
Although
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celebrating
weddings
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and
birthdays
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costs
money
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it is not worthless ,
people
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get to communicate with each other and keep society's
traditions
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alive.
Therefore
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,celebrating is always a good thing when thinking about life in the long term .

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea and supports it with examples or explanations.
coherence and cohesion
Use clear linking words to connect your ideas better, like 'firstly', 'however', and 'for example'.
task achievement
Make sure to elaborate more on your opinion to give a well-rounded view.
task achievement
You effectively presented both sides of the argument.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear conclusion that summarizes your main point.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
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