IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Write an email to the mall manager in about 150-200 words. Your email should do the following things: •Describe the problem you are having with the mall’s parking. •Explain what you and your family have to do in order to visit the shopping mall now. •Provide some suggestions for how the mall manager can solve this problem.

#email #mall #manager #•describe #mall’s #•explain #visit #•provide #suggestions
Dear Manager, I hope
this
 email finds you well. My name is Lisa, a regular patron of your esteemed establishment. I pay frequent visits to the Bashundrara Shopping Mall situated in Dhaka,
hence
 it has become an integral part of our family. I am reaching out to you today to address an
issue
 regarding the allocated parking plot at the shopping centre. Nowadays, we are having trouble parking the vehicles, as it has become very congested.
Moreover
, the growing development of the city is bringing more people to the area which increases the number of vehicles.
As a result
, we have to take public vehicles to commute to the shopping centre, but it's really troublesome for us. To solve the
issue
, I come up with a constructive solution. You can utilize the back-side purview, which is not being used by the company.
Furthermore
, It will not only resolve the
issue
 but
also
 provide tranquillity to the consumers,
also
 uphold the company's reputation. I hope you will complete my suggestion and take proper action to resolve the
issue
. I look forward to your swift response and resolution. Yours Sincerely, Lisa
Submitted by Lisa Bhuiyan on

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Task Achievement
Make sure to explicitly address each point required by the task throughout your email. You’ve done well, but providing more detailed examples could enhance clarity and task response.
Coherence and Cohesion
Consider a more detailed conclusion to strengthen your message. While your email is well-structured, a closing statement reiterating your main points or expressing hope for a positive change could enhance coherence.
Coherence and Cohesion
Utilizing varied sentence structures and linking phrases can further improve the flow and cohesion of your writing. You've made good efforts, but additional variety could add to the readability and effectiveness of your message.
Task Achievement
You’ve effectively communicated the problem and proposed a thoughtful solution, showing good task achievement.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your introduction and sign-off frame your concerns appropriately, establishing a clear structure.
Coherence and Cohesion
Main points are supported with explanations, which helps in making your writing coherent and cohesive.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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