IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

People
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 have different views on whether
individuals
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 should compete or cooperate at work and in school.
While
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 I acknowledge that competition can be useful in some situations, I believe that cooperation brings more long-term benefits. On the one hand, some argue that being in a competitive environment can increase productivity. Competing with coworkers or classmates may push
individuals
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 to perform at their best. Healthy rivalry can be a motivating force that encourages
people
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 to reach their full potential and stay focused on their goals.
On the other hand
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, collaboration teaches
people
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 how to be more considerate and understanding. Working as part of a team requires
individuals
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 to listen, communicate, and respect other perspectives.
This
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 helps
people
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 develop empathy, which is a crucial skill in both school and the workplace.
In addition
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, group discussions allow
people
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 to share ideas and find more creative or effective solutions to problems. As far as I am concerned, cooperation is more valuable than competition. Even if a group fails,
people
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 can support one another emotionally and gain strength to move forward. Sharing the experience, whether successful or not, often makes it more meaningful and rewarding. In conclusion,
although
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 competition may offer certain advantages, I believe cooperation plays a more important role in helping
individuals
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 grow both personally and professionally.

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task achievement
Make sure to include specific examples to support your points. For example, you could mention a specific situation where cooperation led to a successful project or a time when competition helped someone achieve a goal.
coherence and cohesion
Try to use clearer transitions between your points to help the reader follow your ideas more easily. For example, you might say 'In addition to these benefits, cooperation...'.
coherence and cohesion
Your introduction clearly presents the topic and your opinion.
task achievement
You have effectively explained the benefits of both competition and cooperation, giving a balanced view.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • innovation
  • productivity
  • excel
  • outperform
  • advancements
  • academic standards
  • work ethic
  • stress
  • anxiety
  • unhealthy rivalries
  • harmonious
  • supportive
  • collaborative learning
  • social skills
  • communication skills
  • sense of community
  • collective goals
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