IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

A large income is much more important than being satisfied at work. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

A highly paid job is
essential
Correct quantifier usage
more essential
show examples
 than being gratified in
life
Use synonyms
. Despite the common
knowlegde
Correct your spelling
knowledge
,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 believe
to oppose
Change preposition
in opposing
show examples
this
Linking Words
 statement as the main idea of
life
Use synonyms
 is to
be contended
Change to the active voice
contend
have contended
show examples
. To start with, one must
get
Verb problem
be
show examples
satisfy
Change the verb form
satisfied
show examples
 with the things they have as money could not be enough ever. The easiest way to keep your growth stable and going throughout is by doing what you actually love and it will enlighten the
life
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, productivity comes with fresh minds, so being fulfilled would eventually lead to
give
Verb problem
apply
show examples
extra potential in work which merely helps to embark
things
Change preposition
on things
show examples
.
For instance
Linking Words
, in one survey it was proven that
company's
Change noun form
companies
show examples
 who are prioritizing their employ's mental and physical health are growing much faster.
In addition
Linking Words
, it is important for
endearment
Correct article usage
the endearment
show examples
 of the relationships as you can give love if you are filled with it.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, people who take money as a primary factor in their
life
Use synonyms
 are seen to be more stressed and exhausted which astrays their whole
life
Use synonyms
. The plethora of work would be detrimental which will cause health
probems
Correct your spelling
problems
 and bad relationships around the person.
For example
Linking Words
, most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
heart patients are the ones who
priotized
Correct your spelling
prioritise
 money and work rather than family and the things they actually enjoy.
To sum up
Linking Words
, being satisfied in
life
Use synonyms
 must be prioritized to avoid the issues and to have
happy
Add an article
a happy
show examples
life
Use synonyms
.

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task achievement
You should clearly state your position in the introduction. Try to use more straightforward sentences to make your ideas clearer.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words to connect your ideas better. For example, 'firstly', 'moreover', and 'on the other hand' help in guiding the reader.
task achievement
Try to add more specific examples to support your main points, as this strengthens your argument.
content
You shared personal views on the topic well, showing your opinion clearly.
content
You made a good effort to discuss both sides of the argument, which is important.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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