IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Wild animals have no place in the 21st century, so protecting them is a waste of resources. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

These days, a group of people contend that wild creatures are extra;
as a result
Linking Words
, conserving them is wasting not only time but
also
Linking Words
 money. The writer strongly disagrees with
this
Linking Words
 idea inasmuch as biodiversity has a positively potent influence on the environment and the
economic
Replace the word
economy
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. On the one hand, the fact being crucial is that forests and nature can be destroyed without wild animals
due to
Linking Words
 these species, which have various sizes, woodlands and food
chain
Fix the agreement mistake
chains
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.
Consequently
Linking Words
, when one part of
this
Linking Words
 circulation is removed,
then
Linking Words
 it may lead to some balanced changes and impacts on other sections.
For instance
Linking Words
, if the number of cat in specific areas decrease, the figures for mice will see an upward trend, which can cause some diseases for residents.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, wildlife can be a fascinating item
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
foreigners;
moreover
Linking Words
, they spend a great deal of money to experience wild creature inhabitants, reserve areas and so on.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the local economy and job opportunities, which are working at hotels and safari, may be dependent on
this
Linking Words
 type of
tourists
Fix the agreement mistake
tourist
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.
However
Linking Words
, if the natural ecosystems across the world are annihilated, some countries will lose their income resources. In conclusion, saving the environment and biodiversity is important because it can reduce some risks
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
 humans' health.
Additionally
Linking Words
, it is beneficial
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the economy
due to
Linking Words
 providing job opportunities and
be
Wrong verb form
being
show examples
attractive
Correct article usage
an attractive
show examples
places
Fix the agreement mistake
place
show examples
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
 tourism.

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task achievement
Make sure your introduction clearly states your opinion about the topic. This helps the reader understand your point right away.
coherence and cohesion
Your paragraphs need a clear main idea that ties back to your main argument. This makes your points stronger.
task achievement
Use more specific examples to support your points. This adds weight to your arguments and makes them more convincing.
coherence and cohesion
Try to use linking words to connect your ideas. This will help the flow of your essay and make it easier to read.
task achievement
You express a clear opinion, which is important for the essay.
task achievement
You address both sides of the argument, showing a balanced view.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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