IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8.5

Some people argue that high taxation discourages individuals from working hard and that citizens should keep all the money they earn. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

8.5 / 9
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Introduction
It is sometimes claimed that heavy taxes remove the incentive to work and that people ought to retain every dirham they earn.
While
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 I accept that excessive rates can weaken ambition, I largely disagree with the idea of abolishing taxation altogether because public services depend on it, and a modern economy cannot function without shared investment.
Body paragraph 1
Admittedly, the case against heavy levies is not without merit. The most obvious point is that when the state takes more than half of each additional pound, a professional may decide that extra hours are not worth the effort, so output and innovation decline. In Morocco,
for instance
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, many small traders remain in the informal sector to avoid payments they regard as unfair, depriving the treasury of revenue it could
otherwise
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 collect. Closely linked to
this
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 is the feeling of injustice among honest earners who watch their money wasted through corruption or careless planning.
Body paragraph 2
Nevertheless
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, a society in which nobody pays anything would collapse. The most important reason is that roads, hospitals, police and schools are financed largely from taxation, and even the wealthiest individuals rely on them every day. Moroccan motorways,
for example
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, were built with public funds, and,
consequently
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, businesses in Tangier can now deliver goods to Casablanca in a few hours
instead
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 of a full day.
Moreover
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, moderate contributions redistribute opportunity, since a child from a poor family can only compete if the state funds decent education. If every citizen kept their entire income, the gap between the rich and the poor would widen until social unrest became inevitable. In my view,
therefore
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, the real debate concerns how high rates should be and how wisely the money is spent, not whether it should exist at all.
Conclusion
In conclusion, punitive taxation may dampen effort, yet a country with no shared contribution would lose the very services that make hard work rewarding. On balance, a fair and transparent system benefits everyone, including those who pay the most.

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task response
Your view is clear from the start: very high tax can make people work less, but no tax would harm the country. To make the answer even stronger, say more about why people should not keep all their money, such as help for old people or those who lose work.
task response
Your main ideas are well explained. You could also show that tax is not the only reason people work hard. Many people work for better jobs, pride, or to build a good life for their family.
task response
The examples from Morocco are useful and fit the ideas. Make sure any real example is fully clear. For example, say how tax money paid for the roads, or use a short made-up example if you are not sure.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear order: opening, the other side, your view, and an ending. Keep this plan in future essays because it makes your answer easy to follow.
coherence and cohesion
The links between ideas are smooth. You use words such as “Nevertheless”, “Moreover”, and “therefore” well. Do not add too many link words; use them only when the link is clear.
coherence and cohesion
Most long sentences are easy to understand, but a few have many ideas. Split some of them into two shorter sentences to make the key point stand out more.
task response
You answer both parts of the question and give a clear, balanced view all the way through.
task response
The point about public services is strong, and the road example shows clearly how tax can help both people and business.
coherence and cohesion
Each paragraph has one main job, and the move from the view against high tax to your own view is very clear.
coherence and cohesion
The ending brings the main ideas together and repeats your view without copying the opening.
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